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  1. Posted: March 23, 2017In: Drama

    A hilarious chronicle of a young valiant woman passionate for Motorcycle riding ,sacrifices her successful professional career for her passion and embarks on a coast – to – coast solo monumental motorcycle odyssey in search of her boyfriend who inspires her in achieving her feat of a life time.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on March 23, 2017 at 10:59 pm

    Has potential, but needs to be condensed to only the basic elements listed under "Formula" at the top of the web page. ?Check it out.And what is the "feat of a life time"? ?That needs to be stated specifically, not vaguely.

    Has potential, but needs to be condensed to only the basic elements listed under “Formula” at the top of the web page. ?Check it out.

    And what is the “feat of a life time”? ?That needs to be stated specifically, not vaguely.

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  2. Posted: March 23, 2017In: Drama

    One last attempt. Share your thoughts: A bankrupt man ventures into dangerous territory to meet with an old friend who promised him money to pay for his son?s emergency operation.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on March 23, 2017 at 10:54 pm

    Agree with Dkpough1. ? The description of "dangerous territory" is vague, inadequate. Be specific. ?And why can't he meet his friend in a safer place, in neutral territory? ?Why MUST he go into that danger zone, whatever it happens to be?

    Agree with Dkpough1. ? The description of “dangerous territory” is vague, inadequate. Be specific. ?

    And why can’t he meet his friend in a safer place, in neutral territory? ?Why MUST he go into that danger zone, whatever it happens to be?

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  3. Posted: March 23, 2017In: Action

    A bad driver tries his best to save his job as an uber driver, finds his next trip with a terrorist who wants to explode a court with a bomb.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on March 23, 2017 at 10:45 pm

    Agree with Richiev. ?Simplify, focus on the dramatic problem #1 -- the urgent need to stop the terrorist attack.>>thanks a lot, what about making his ex wife working in the court so he wanted to save her??Great for the plot proper. ?It certainly worked in "Die Hard" where the estranged wife woRead more

    Agree with Richiev. ?Simplify, focus on the dramatic problem #1 — the urgent need to stop the terrorist attack.

    >>thanks a lot, what about making his ex wife working in the court so he wanted to save her??

    Great for the plot proper. ?It certainly worked in “Die Hard” where the estranged wife works at the company whose employees the terrorists take hostage. ?But I don’t think it’s required for this logline. ?The stakes are implicitly high enough.

    It’s tempting to cram plot details into a logline, but a sign of a good logline is not when there is no more to add, but when there is no more to take out. ?With loglines, less is more.

    The guidelines under “Formula” at the top of web page list mandatory and optional required elements. Cramming in more is not only not necessary, but defeats the purpose of a logline.

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