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  1. Posted: March 23, 2017In: Drama

    One last attempt. Share your thoughts: A bankrupt man ventures into dangerous territory to meet with an old friend who promised him money to pay for his son?s emergency operation.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on March 24, 2017 at 3:40 am

    Good point by Foxtrot25.Taking the logline at face value, it implies that the bulk of the 2nd Act, 50-60 pages is about the protagonist tiptoeing through "dangerous territory". ?But a movie producer has no sense from the logline if the danger zone is hazardous enough, has enough dramatic pitfalls anRead more

    Good point by Foxtrot25.

    Taking the logline at face value, it implies that the bulk of the 2nd Act, 50-60 pages is about the protagonist tiptoeing through “dangerous territory”. ?But a movie producer has no sense from the logline if the danger zone is hazardous enough, has enough dramatic pitfalls and landmines, to sustain and continually ratchet up the suspense. ?

    At what point in the story does the protagonist actually meet his old friend and solicit the money?

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  2. Posted: March 6, 2017In: Action

    ?A cop and his K-9 companion unintentionally hijack a billion dollar drug shipment from a ruthless cartel that will stop at nothing to get it back.

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    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on March 24, 2017 at 3:29 am

    Detroit, the new drug capital of the world?Hmm.Putting that in the parking lot for now, ?now I'm confused. ?What's the unifying action (the plot) ?that drives the action of your story? ? I thought that it was a cop taking down a ruthless drug lord. And having his girlfriend kidnapped was a complicatRead more

    Detroit, the new drug capital of the world?

    Hmm.

    Putting that in the parking lot for now, ?now I’m confused. ?What’s the unifying action (the plot) ?that drives the action of your story? ? I thought that it was a cop taking down a ruthless drug lord. And having his girlfriend kidnapped was a complication, that ups the stakes and tension.

    ?

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  3. Posted: March 23, 2017In: Drama

    When a man tracks his Mesoamerican heirloom to Brazil, he learns he must choose between revenge for his father?s death, and the life that caused it. Attempt 2

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on March 23, 2017 at 11:22 pm

    Loglines are about actions pursued toward an objective goal.Loglines are not about dilemmas ?encountered along the way.

    Loglines are about actions pursued toward an objective goal.

    Loglines are not about dilemmas ?encountered along the way.

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