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an uber driver finds his next trip with a young terrorist who wants to explode a bomb in specific place. attempt two
And then...?It is not sufficient for a logline to describe the dramatic problem. ?It must also state what the protagonist must do about it.We know what the terrorist wants to do. ?What must the Uber driver, the protagonist, need to do?And it's better to specify the "specific place" -- the logline neRead more
And then…?
It is not sufficient for a logline to describe the dramatic problem. ?It must also state what the protagonist must do about it.
We know what the terrorist wants to do. ?What must the Uber driver, the protagonist, need to do?
And it’s better to specify the “specific place” — the logline needs to name the target.
See less2nd attempt : A carefree, rebellious writer?s life changes suddenly when a long-lost friend pops up at his door. A gripping journey of two friends, one with an abused childhood, the other burdened with false accusations, discovering their true path amongst rigid societal expectations of manliness.
>>>discovering their true pathThe inciting incident ?("when a long-lost friend pops up at his door") seems weak. ?I'm not sure it qualifies as an inciting incident.Two androids "pop up" at Luke Skywalker's door -- but that event by itself changes nothing in terms of Luke either discoveringRead more
>>>discovering their true path
The inciting incident ?(“when a long-lost friend pops up at his door”) seems weak. ?I’m not sure it qualifies as an inciting incident.
Two androids “pop up” at Luke Skywalker’s door — but that event by itself changes nothing in terms of Luke either discovering ?his “true path” or joining the fight against the Empire. ?Their appearance begins a chain of events that leads to the inciting incident — a strong one — but, again, the “pop up”?by itself is not sufficient to qualify as the inciting incident.
What does “their true path” mean? ?How does that translate into a specific objective goal? ?(Luke’s true path translates into the specific need to master the Force and concurrently the specific objective goal of destroying the Death Star.)
And what’s at stake? ?What doe the writer stand to lose if he fails?
See lessAnna is Hamidi’s mother-in-law. She has magic scepters. These balloon-fitted magic rods control the lives of all her daughters, including Givana, Hamidi’s current girlfriend. When Anna confronts him to help her save her daughters once again from the captivity of a Arabian-based Sultan in the Kenyan Coast just after the arrival of the British colonisers, his objection only puts Givana, his mermaid girlfriend at risk.
So... condensed down to the basic elements, in 40 words or less, what is the plot?Please consult the "Formulas" option at the top of the web page for guidelines on the required and optional elements and how to use them in an industry acceptable logline.
So… condensed down to the basic elements, in 40 words or less, what is the plot?
Please consult the “Formulas” option at the top of the web page for guidelines on the required and optional elements and how to use them in an industry acceptable logline.
See less