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A military bioweapons collector attempts to cover-up an accidental release of a deadly, new strain of flu by destroying the project’s hard drive before his Russian counterpart can prove the CIA’s involvement.
Kaznats, I think you have the raw material for a convoluted and compelling plot. ?Which, I realize makes it quite a challenge to compress into one pithy 25-40 word sentence. And I think it's a topical issue, particularly in light of the extraordinary advances in genetic engineering which threatens tRead more
Kaznats,
I think you have the raw material for a convoluted and compelling plot. ?Which, I realize makes it quite a challenge to compress into one pithy 25-40 word sentence.
And I think it’s a topical issue, particularly in light of the extraordinary advances in genetic engineering which threatens to make the technology cheap enough and easy enough for terrorists groups to buy and use to develop designer micro-weapons.
As a spectator taking cheap shots from the bleachers while you wrestle with your story, ?I don’t know what else to say. ?Except that in my personal logline rule book, the first and most important element a logline needs is a great hook, a unique story angle that immediately grabs attention, a “secret sauce” that is irresistible. ?The reader cannot not bite the hook, want to read the script. ?Because that is the Prime Operative of a logline, in ten seconds, make a reader want to read the script.
So putting aside characters, goals, stakes, ?antagonists, yada-yada, what is your hook? ?In 25 words or less, what’s your “secret sauce”, that differentiates your script from all the other scripts that have written, all the other movies that have been made about viral plagues, about conspiracies involving the Usual Suspects, the CIA and the Russians?
See lessA military bioweapons collector attempts to cover-up an accidental release of a deadly, new strain of flu by destroying the project’s hard drive before his Russian counterpart can prove the CIA’s involvement.
I don't think the protagonist being amoral is problematical. I think the viewing public is conditioned to accepting ?the setting of spook stories, that is, a world where value systems are in gradations of grey rather than black and white.And I don't think the plausibility of your premise is BS. ?I aRead more
I don’t think the protagonist being amoral is problematical. I think the viewing public is conditioned to accepting ?the setting of spook stories, that is, a world where value systems are in gradations of grey rather than black and white.
And I don’t think the plausibility of your premise is BS. ?I aware of the the issue of viruses going… viral, particularly as genetic engineering becomes more robust and refined. ?I’m aware of the military interest in the bioweapons as a threat and as a contingency. ?(Like anthrax, for example, which is why they continue to store viable supplies.)
So, I think there’s a story here. ?But I stand by my statements. ?If your premise is that a lethal virus is breaking out — but the primary objective goal of your character is to pin the blame the CIA rather than save innocent lives, well, it just won’t fly. ?It won’t sell.
And after all, isn’t his own life in danger as a result of the plague? ?Why on earth would he be more interested in finding who dunnit than in saving his own life? ?Doesn’t he have skin in?that game? ?Since he’s amoral to begin with, why wouldn’t he place his own self-interest 1st? ?To wit, save his own life.
And btw, why does the default, go-to bad guy have to be the CIA? ?Since the conspiracy is about the use of bioweapons, why can’t it be a secret military agency devoted to that purpose? ?I realize that every thing that has gone wrong in the world since the Garden of Eden can be blamed on the CIA, but that’s too facile, too common. ?It’s become a movie trope, a cliche. ?Why not spread around the blame?
See lessA military bioweapons collector attempts to cover-up an accidental release of a deadly, new strain of flu by destroying the project’s hard drive before his Russian counterpart can prove the CIA’s involvement.
>>>? the pandemic is a secondary issue in this story, what is really important is the cover-up.You want to do a story about a conspiracy story, but the readers of this version of your logline are going to want a story about a rescue.Why? ?Because your logline places ?a huge elephant in theRead more
>>>? the pandemic is a secondary issue in this story, what is really important is the cover-up.
You want to do a story about a conspiracy story, but the readers of this version of your logline are going to want a story about a rescue.
Why? ?Because your logline places ?a huge elephant in the room — and then ignores it and assumes logline readers will also?ignore it. ?Well, imho, they won’t. ?(I can’t.) ?Why? ?Because the stakes of ?stopping the plague trump the stakes of ?unmasking ?the conspiracy. ?
There can be no higher stakes in a story than innocent human lives at risk. ?That is one of the few universal, ironclad dramatic rules. No exceptions.
I’m just saying.
So, if that’s the story you want to tell, then it seems to me you need to frame the plot as a ?search for the hard drive, the ?McGuffin, as the only means to stop the plague. ?Because that holds the data for the cure. Oh, and yeah, the smoking gun with fingerprints of the CIA .
>>>including my ?hero? isn?t any better than his Russian counterpart
Not ?a problem. Because he can redeem himself in the eyes of the audience by stopping the plague, saving the lives of untold numbers of innocent people. And bring to light, the party responsible for starting it.
IOW: ?he discovers who dunnit in the process of trying to stop the plague. ?(The best conspiracy stories work with the true villain unmasked in the 3rd Act, not revealed to the audience in the 1st Act or 2nd.)
fwiw.
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