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  1. Posted: February 22, 2017In: Examples

    When a chauvinistic advertising exec gets the ability to hear what women are really thinking, he gets a shot at outmaneuvering the woman who stole his job.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on February 22, 2017 at 8:05 am

    Or how about:A chauvinistic ad executive uses his mysteriously acquired ability to hear what women think to get?the woman who stole his promotion fired.(23 words or 139 characters, concise enough for a tweet)In this case "outmaneuver" ?translates into the more specific objective of defeating her. ?WRead more

    Or how about:

    A chauvinistic ad executive uses his mysteriously acquired ability to hear what women think to get?the woman who stole his promotion fired.

    (23 words or 139 characters, concise enough for a tweet)

    In this case “outmaneuver” ?translates into the more specific objective of defeating her. ?When she packs up and vacates her office and/or Nick is given her position — that’s the visual that tells the audience he’s won.

    Of course, it turns out to be the wrong objective goal. ?Which he eventually comes to realize and that insight motivates his ultimate dilemma and final redemption.

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  2. Posted: February 22, 2017In: Comedy

    When a humiliated teen gets the ability to see the desires of anyone he touches, he gets a shot at outmaneuvering the girl who brought him down.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on February 22, 2017 at 7:43 am

    Film is a visual medium. ?Which means that every objective goal ?has to be a visual in the form of a person, place, object or event. ?It has to concrete, not abstract. ? It has to be?seen on the screen.What is the visual on "outmaneuver"? ? What does that look like? ?What's the visual moment that leRead more

    Film is a visual medium. ?Which means that every objective goal ?has to be a visual in the form of a person, place, object or event. ?It has to concrete, not abstract. ? It has to be?seen on the screen.

    What is the visual on “outmaneuver”? ? What does that look like? ?What’s the visual moment that lets the audience know that he has succeeded ?– or failed?

    And whatever the visual is, is he pursuing the right goal or the wrong goal?

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  3. Posted: February 22, 2017In: Comedy

    After losing everything to an emotionally sophisticated rival, the one-time ?king of high school? gets a chance to win it all back when he starts visualizing the desires of anyone he touches.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on February 22, 2017 at 1:45 am

    "Losing everything" -- what does that mean? ? What's at stake? "Emotionally sophisticated " -- what does that mean? ?And rather than characterize the antagonist, the logline would do better to characterize the protagonist. Why should we want to root for the ex-king to regain whatever he lost? How, sRead more

    “Losing everything” — what does that mean? ? What’s at stake?
    “Emotionally sophisticated ” — what does that mean? ?And rather than characterize the antagonist, the logline would do better to characterize the protagonist.
    Why should we want to root for the ex-king to regain whatever he lost?
    How, specifically, will this visualization enable him to climb back on top of the social heap?

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