1. Posted: December 4, 2016In:

    When an Iraq War vet loses both his house and wife, he resolves to use his training to take out the CEO of a major NYC investment bank whom he blames for his losses and whose security detail is mostly composed of other vets.

    dpg Singularity

    I can see a cause-and-effect ?link (revenge) because I actually read the book "The Big Short" before it became out as a movie. ?But perhaps the linkage needs to be made more obvious and direct.So: ?the vet decides to take out the CEO of the very bank that held and foreclosed on the mortgage to his hRead more

    I can see a cause-and-effect ?link (revenge) because I actually read the book “The Big Short” before it became out as a movie. ?But perhaps the linkage needs to be made more obvious and direct.

    So: ?the vet decides to take out the CEO of the very bank that held and foreclosed on the mortgage to his house. ?The CEO who collected fat bonuses thanks to the sub mortgage scam he promoted while the vet and others were losing every penny they had.

    fwiw

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  2. Posted: December 2, 2016In:

    When the public ignores evidence of violent rape by a demagogic president, a reporter convinces MIT nanobot engineers to help her surveil him, certain that airing his private moments will destroy him, but also naive to the many dangers of the plan.

    dpg Singularity

    Also, if ?Americans can invade the privacy of the White House with a nanobot what?s to stop the Russians and the Chinese from doing likewise? ?(Who would have an even stronger motivation and stakes).Now there might be a story hook: ?she leads a team that develops nanobots to get on the inside ? andRead more

    Also, if ?Americans can invade the privacy of the White House with a nanobot what?s to stop the Russians and the Chinese from doing likewise? ?(Who would have an even stronger motivation and stakes).

    Now there might be a story hook: ?she leads a team that develops nanobots to get on the inside ? and discovers that the Russians and Chinese are also snooping on POTUS with nanobots.

    fwiw

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  3. Posted: December 2, 2016In:

    Boy meets girl. Boy falls in love. Girl doesn’t.

    dpg Singularity

    >>>there needs to be a believable reason someone would risk their life in all of their action hijinksBingo!>>>The problem I think with fantasy/ sci-fi loglines is that the inciting incident takes up valuable space that could be used to clarify the world the writer is creating.I agrRead more

    >>>there needs to be a believable reason someone would risk their life in all of their action hijinks

    Bingo!

    >>>The problem I think with fantasy/ sci-fi loglines is that the inciting incident takes up valuable space that could be used to clarify the world the writer is creating.

    I agree. A definite challenge. Which is one reason, I think, ?why scripts based on SciFi books and graphic novels are easier to market. ?The concept has already been validated and vetted, the ?story world and characters have already been pre-sold in another medium.

    I know one writer who solved that problem by hiring someone to render?his original super-hero script as a digital graphic novel. ?So he had visuals to pitch to producers, to literally ?show? them how he envisioned the characters and their world. And it worked. ?He sold his script for a very nice 6 figure number ?(Subsequently, the script disappeared into the black hole of development – but, hey, the check cleared the bank and he was able to boot up a ?new career.)

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