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Female Security Guards coerced into helping commit a massive terrorist attack are torn between protecting their loved ones and National Security.
What Knightrider said about focusing the story on ?a singular protagonist with a clear proactive goal. ?And clearly defined stakes: ?"massive terrorist attack" is too vague to convey the magnitude and urgency of the threat.
What Knightrider said about focusing the story on ?a singular protagonist with a clear proactive goal. ?And clearly defined stakes: ?”massive terrorist attack” is too vague to convey the magnitude and urgency of the threat.
See lessIn the wake of recent terrorist attacks, four female security guards are ruthlessly coerced to help carry out one of America’s deadliest assaults; one that has the potential to hurt or even kill tens of thousands.
First, it's better to focus the logline (and the plot) on 1 protagonist rather than an ?ensemble of 4. (Although the singular protagonist can certainly have a team that supports her struggle.)Second, coerced to do what exactly? ?"Once of America's deadliest assaults" is too vague to constitute an efRead more
First, it’s better to focus the logline (and the plot) on 1 protagonist rather than an ?ensemble of 4. (Although the singular protagonist can certainly have a team that supports her struggle.)
Second, coerced to do what exactly? ?”Once of America’s deadliest assaults” is too vague to constitute an effective story hook.
Third, ?they are portrayed as helpless, reactive victims rather than proactive protagonists who become agents of their own fate. ?So what becomes the?proactive objective goal as a result of the predicament?
See lessSeeing her father assassinated, Princess escapes to search the land for her exiled mother to learn the djinn arts to take revenge and save her people.?
I like Nir's ?version, too, because it gives the antagonist equivalent power. ??He's a sorcerer as knowledgeable the magical arts as must become. ?Consequently, ?just acquiring skill in the magical arts doesn't guarantee the princess inevitable success, make it a slam dunk that she will succeed.?
I like Nir’s ?version, too, because it gives the antagonist equivalent power. ??He’s a sorcerer as knowledgeable the magical arts as must become. ?Consequently, ?just acquiring skill in the magical arts doesn’t guarantee the princess inevitable success, make it a slam dunk that she will succeed.?
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