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  1. Posted: June 17, 2016In: Thriller

    When a writer looking for a new story decides to follow people as way to find inspiration he soon realizes he has more interest in interfering with people’s lives than in simply watching them, which leads him to find a cult he wasn’t supposed to find and face the consequences.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on June 17, 2016 at 8:32 am

    The logline sets up a situation for a plot, but it doesn't doesn't lay out a plot, ?what causally follows from establishing his own cult. ?(And I'm not sure what kind of a cult it is-- religious or...?)What is the objective goal of his setting up a cult? ?To control other peoples' lives because he tRead more

    The logline sets up a situation for a plot, but it doesn’t doesn’t lay out a plot, ?what causally follows from establishing his own cult. ?(And I’m not sure what kind of a cult it is– religious or…?)

    What is the objective goal of his setting up a cult? ?To control other peoples’ lives because he thinks he knows better? ?To manipulate and exploit weak-minded and gullible people?

    (As a side bar, what is your objective goal ?writing the story? ?To explore the psychology of exploiting people’s weaknesses and delusions?)

    And who/what opposes him? ?Who/what threatens to defeat his purpose (whatever that is)?

    And why is the story classified as a thriller? ?Seems more like a drama to me. It could even play out as a comedy, but a thriller?

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  2. Posted: June 17, 2016In: Noir

    The story about a detective, whose case about murder of a little girl was stopped by Police chief because suspect was a New York’s most dangerous and powerful political figure, he is starting his own game, but when he finds out that she is his daughter from ex-wife which had left him few years ago, he becomes an unstoppable nightmare for suspect.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on June 17, 2016 at 6:34 am

    At 62 words, the logline is too long and too complicated to properly evaluate.? Please review the guidelines on constructing a proper guidelines under "Training" at the top of the web page.

    At 62 words, the logline is too long and too complicated to properly evaluate.? Please review the guidelines on constructing a proper guidelines under “Training” at the top of the web page.

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  3. Posted: June 16, 2016In: Fantasy

    By the time humans defeated death, they reduced the population to billion and created the utopian civilization, Alonzo overtired from centennial life, accidentally discovers tiny, survived and hidden civilization of mortals.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on June 17, 2016 at 1:19 am

    And then what? ?The logline establishes an interesting platform, a situation, from which to launch a plot. ?But it doesn't launch a ?plot. What becomes the protagonist's objective goal? ?(BTW: characters need not be named in the logline.) ?Who/what opposes him? And the "so what?" factor: ?what's atRead more

    And then what? ?The logline establishes an interesting platform, a situation, from which to launch a plot. ?But it doesn’t launch a ?plot.

    What becomes the protagonist’s objective goal? ?(BTW: characters need not be named in the logline.) ?Who/what opposes him?

    And the “so what?” factor: ?what’s at stake? ?What does he stand to gain if he succeeds, lose if he fails?

    I suggest consulting the guidelines under “Training” at the top of the web page for tips on how to write a logline that launches a plot.

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