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A war torn soldier riddled with guilt and PTSD must face his mind, and his mental image of himself only to fail when the guilt of him killing an innocent woman gets the better of him.
First of all, "guilt..gets the better of him" ?suggests a negative outcome -- he fails to overcome his problem. ?A logline should raise a dramatic question, but it should not state or hint at the final answer to that question.Also, the protagonist of a plot should be more than a hapless victim ("onlRead more
First of all, “guilt..gets the better of him” ?suggests a negative outcome — he fails to overcome his problem. ?A logline should raise a dramatic question, but it should not state or hint at the final answer to that question.
Also, the protagonist of a plot should be more than a hapless victim (“only to fail”) of unfortunate circumstances (“war torn”) or psychological problems (“guilt and PSTD”). ?The logline should frame his struggle, proactively.
So, given his psychological turmoil and personal mistakes ?what is he doing about them? ?” What becomes his objective goal? ?What is his game plan for transcending his torment, redeeming himself from his past, here and now in the present? ?Even if he is doomed to fail, what is he at least trying to accomplish?
Finally, I suggest the”Training” option at the top of the web page for guidelines on how to build an effective logline.
See less(TV show) Follows the afterlives of the dead buried at Park Green, a world renowned cemetery on the brink of closing
The concept promises to deliver a varied cast. ? But I'm a little concerned that it likewise can deliver on ?plots.? That is, that the concept is strong enough to deliver fresh new situations, ?problems, complications, episode after episode, season after season for 5 years. ?How long can the dramatiRead more
The concept promises to deliver a varied cast. ? But I’m a little concerned that it likewise can deliver on ?plots.? That is, that the concept is strong enough to deliver fresh new situations, ?problems, complications, episode after episode, season after season for 5 years. ?How long can the dramatic threat to eliminate the cemetery be dragged out? ?
And I think the logline needs to promise a viewing experience that is more compelling than merely “following the afterlives of the dead”. ?Although it would be an inconvenience that the spirits have to relocate, in what way is that a calamity? ?IOW: ?what are the stakes?
Anyway, whatever the makeup of the pilot ensemble, there should be one distinctive character who more than the others drives the narrative. ?Maybe it’s the one who can still communicate with the living. ?Whoever it it is should be the designated main character for the purpose of the logline.
See lessWhen a prison gate is accidentally left open, a young female inmate must find a way to get to the gate and get her chance at freedom.
Richiev ?puts a finger on a problem with the logic of the premise. ?It's somewhat plausible that she has a window of opportunity to escape ?for a few minutes wherein the guards don't realize the gate is ajar. ?But for 30, 60, 90 minutes? ?That is difficult to believe, particularly if the time settinRead more
Richiev ?puts a finger on a problem with the logic of the premise. ?It’s somewhat plausible that she has a window of opportunity to escape ?for a few minutes wherein the guards don’t realize the gate is ajar. ?But for 30, 60, 90 minutes? ?That is difficult to believe, particularly if the time setting is contemporary, when prisons are rigged with sensors to detect and alarms to signal failures to secure gates. ? And how would she be in a position to realize the gate is open — but not one guard would be?
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