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  1. Posted: July 30, 2012In: Public

    A brilliant but reckless mechanic promises his dying brother that he will save the one girl who can cure a zombie plague before the military kill her.

    Gabriel.Ritter
    Added an answer on August 21, 2012 at 8:37 pm

    I suppose, the Zombie plague is already taking place or at least is in preparation? It would add some supsense imho.

    I suppose, the Zombie plague is already taking place or at least is in preparation? It would add some supsense imho.

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  2. Posted: July 22, 2012In: Public

    When in 800 AD a business magnate frees warmongering breeders of Raptors to conquer the Holy Roman Empire, only the Charlemagne's elite troop Scara (minus those who joined the Raptor army) stands in their way.

    Gabriel.Ritter
    Added an answer on July 29, 2012 at 7:30 pm

    Thank you for your feedback. So, using your and elbigelow's advice, what about something like this: "A dinosaur army is conquering the Holy Roman Empire and only Charlemagne's handpicked elite troop The Scara stands in their way." I dropped the year/epoch, Charlemagne should be enough indication ofRead more

    Thank you for your feedback.

    So, using your and elbigelow’s advice, what about something like this:

    “A dinosaur army is conquering the Holy Roman Empire and only Charlemagne’s handpicked elite troop The Scara stands in their way.”

    I dropped the year/epoch, Charlemagne should be enough indication of the historical setting.
    Also, I could use more species of dinosaurs, I only had some breed of Utahraptor in mind, so far, but why not a second one?

    While the business magnate is the main force behind the whole event, without more information she does not add anything to the logline.
    Maybe like that:

    “Charlemagne’s elite squad The Scara have protected the Holy Roman Empire for years, but can they defeat an army of dinosaurs, lead by the richest woman in the world – who pulls some of the Scara to her side?”

    That some of the Scara yield to the temptation of power is an important plotpoint – still, I’d like to do better…

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  3. Posted: July 28, 2012In: Public

    A troubled teen and his mother relocate to a small town where he attends a school run by a syndicate of bullies who terrorize students and teachers alike. A former bully himself he?s legally forbidden to engage in violent action ? instead he trains a group of outcasts how to defend themselves.

    Gabriel.Ritter
    Added an answer on July 29, 2012 at 7:00 pm

    It does sound interesting. Also the topic is relevant. I am just a little confused about the "legally forbidden to engage in violent action" - isn't everybody (except selfdefense)?

    It does sound interesting. Also the topic is relevant.

    I am just a little confused about the “legally forbidden to engage in violent action” – isn’t everybody (except selfdefense)?

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