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Criminal investigator Darryl Blake groups with four detective trainees to gather evidence involving snuff video related crimes taken place at a university. While insisting ASPD student Matthew Efflick may be the culprit, almost little to no evidence can be found to prove it; all while he’s continuing his murderous pursuit.
Thank you for the response! After reading your suggestions I've realized that the way I wrote my logline is not how I originally envisioned it. It turns out that by introducing the detective character first, it gave people the impression that I was making a crime thriller instead of a horror movie.Read more
Thank you for the response! After reading your suggestions I’ve realized that the way I wrote my logline is not how I originally envisioned it. It turns out that by introducing the detective character first, it gave people the impression that I was making a crime thriller instead of a horror movie. My intention was to put the focus on Matthew Efflick killing college students in grotesque ways on camera and use Darryl Blake as a tool to build suspense as Matthew hides his evidence. The way I wrote it made it seem as if the focus was on a detective (which wouldn’t be a bad idea either), but that wasn’t my original idea for the project and I’ll probably gave to rewrite the logline. But in any case, thanks for the feedback!
See lessCriminal investigator Darryl Blake groups with four detective trainees to gather evidence involving snuff video related crimes taken place at a university. While insisting ASPD student Matthew Efflick may be the culprit, almost little to no evidence can be found to prove it; all while he’s continuing his murderous pursuit.
Thank you so much for the suggestion! I'll admit, I wasn't too focused on a main lead as I didn't know how to make them interesting without being cliche. My last logline at least had a descriptive protagonist and after reading your answer on this current one, yes, I could do better at describing a cRead more
Thank you so much for the suggestion! I’ll admit, I wasn’t too focused on a main lead as I didn’t know how to make them interesting without being cliche. My last logline at least had a descriptive protagonist and after reading your answer on this current one, yes, I could do better at describing a character the reader can follow. I’ll be spending a little bit more time developing an actual protagonist and then edit the logline, incorporating them into it. If there’s anything else that you think needs to be changed or included, by all means let me know. Thanks for the feedback!
See lessLongtime crook and materialist Tony Argleton is recruited by an FBI funded group to risk his life retrieving a priceless, golden mcguffin stolen by the ruthless Nickle Revolver crime family, in order to avoid any lawful punishment and change his image.
Yeah I was trying to reply to your review but didn't know I sent a review and from the looks of it I can't delete it, but thanks!
Yeah I was trying to reply to your review but didn’t know I sent a review and from the looks of it I can’t delete it, but thanks!
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