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An ethics prof and family man must prove his rehabilitation to a court-appointed psychiatrist when found not guilty of rape by reason of insanity and committed to a mental asylum.
I see issues at both the logline and concept level here. 1. The logline is wordy. I had to read it a couple of times to grasp the concept entirely. 2. The description of the characters and the conflict it suggests - a "kind ethics professor" vs. a "depressed psychiatrist" - didn't evoke images of aRead more
I see issues at both the logline and concept level here.
1. The logline is wordy. I had to read it a couple of times to grasp the concept entirely.
2. The description of the characters and the conflict it suggests – a “kind ethics professor” vs. a “depressed psychiatrist” – didn’t evoke images of a compelling story.
3. When you use an adjective to describe the hero, you’re indicating a flaw in their behavior/POV of the world that will/may change by the end of the film. If this hero starts as “kind,” what are they arcing toward? If it’s a downward-spiral story, hint at that in the logline.
4. Watching a film about a rapist striving for rehabilitation does not sound appealing unless you hint that self-sacrifice is involved in saving someone else.
The example below is a different version of your concept, but it may inspire some thoughts on how you can up the drama in your logline.
“An ethics professor sent to a mental institution for a rape he didn’t commit must overcome a vengeful psychiatrist to prove his innocence before temptation leads him to murder.”
See lessA sexually awkward high school student begins giving out sex therapy at his school to help him get his dream girl
What sticks out for me is a credibility issue - why would anyone trust a 'sexually awkward teenager' to give them sex therapy? In terms of it being a means to his goal, it's also super creepy. Is that your intention? If it is, then you need to solve the first problem of credibility. We've seen movieRead more
What sticks out for me is a credibility issue – why would anyone trust a ‘sexually awkward teenager’ to give them sex therapy?
In terms of it being a means to his goal, it’s also super creepy. Is that your intention? If it is, then you need to solve the first problem of credibility. We’ve seen movies where a psychologist takes advantage of their position to do something like this, but people trust a professional like that.
See lessAn unsuccessful & frustrated young screenwriter search for ghosts to get inspired for writing horror screenplay as a final attempt
There is something interesting about your premise, but be warned - there are very few films about screenwriters that ever get made. Why? Probably because very few people can identify with the struggles of a screenwriter. Most people hardly even know what we do exactly. Having said that, if you do goRead more
There is something interesting about your premise, but be warned – there are very few films about screenwriters that ever get made. Why? Probably because very few people can identify with the struggles of a screenwriter. Most people hardly even know what we do exactly.
Having said that, if you do go through with this story, I would suggest introducing a strong inciting incident. Maybe something like Jumanji or Beatlejuice, e.g., your struggling horror writer could organize a seance in the old house. That would make them a more active hero. The ghost/s turn up, the writer gets his inspiration for a million-dollar story, but now the ghosts turn on him, and he can only reap his reward if he can escape the ghosts and get out of the house.
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