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When a cunning Knight outsmarts a young rebellious Gnome, he must quickly overcome self-pity from such betrayal and get his lump of gold back before the Knight ignites a gold rush, which would destroy Gnomes’ precious homeland inside an Iron Mountain.
Consider the following to strengthen your logline: 1. Altered your protag “gnome” psychology to lead into a reclaim journey. 2. A “lump of gold” is generally lackluster, the form can be made into something more exceptional. With “Gary Glittergold” as their primary gnome deity, I had a little fun witRead more
Consider the following to strengthen your logline:
1. Altered your protag “gnome” psychology to lead into a reclaim journey.
2. A “lump of gold” is generally lackluster, the form can be made into something more exceptional. With “Gary Glittergold” as their primary gnome deity, I had a little fun with it.
Example:
“A reckless gnome sets out to reclaim his Glittergold idol from a swindling knight before it ignites a homeland destroying gold rush“
Would love to watch, take care.
See lessIn the mid 1970’s an, introverted, midwestern teen is murdered at the height of unwanted, meteoric, fame. Jealously, greed and opportunity implicate family and friends but no one is ever convicted. 20 years later, a fan accidentally begins unraveling the truth which will forever alter the lives of everyone involved.
Consider the following: 1. As a reader, we cannot envision what “forever alter” looks like. 2. Is the 20th anniversary of the musician's death your major event [fan’s call to action]? 3. There is a killer out there that’s not going to like this fan snooping around, use them as your opposition/antagoRead more
Consider the following:
1. As a reader, we cannot envision what “forever alter” looks like.
2. Is the 20th anniversary of the musician’s death your major event [fan’s call to action]?
3. There is a killer out there that’s not going to like this fan snooping around, use them as your opposition/antagonist.
This is what I can glean:
“A superfan of a murdered ‘70s musician [ACTION/GOAL unravel cold case] when [MAJOR EVENT]”
Hope you find this constructive, keep going.
See lessA boy and his friends must cross dimensions to stop an evil dictator from merging both worlds.
Sounds fun, since FAM genre - consider the following: 1. Who is this boy and what was the circumstance the upended his balance? 2. When the boy teams up with his friends – does that form something with a cool name e.g., “World Warriors!" Cheesy I know – you get the point 😉. 3. Is there a fun way orRead more
Sounds fun, since FAM genre – consider the following:
1. Who is this boy and what was the circumstance the upended his balance?
2. When the boy teams up with his friends – does that form something with a cool name e.g., “World Warriors!” Cheesy I know – you get the point 😉.
3. Is there a fun way or mysterious location to “cross dimensions”?
4. Hard to envision what “merging” will look like on-screen, think of the goal of your baddie and use that.
Keep going!
See less