1. Posted: July 5, 2014In:

    A corrupt, rural sheriff is pressured by his drug-lord bosses to protect their enterprise from the FBI while helping the feds search for an abducted girl.

    Jaffer Penpusher

    I can sense an interesting story and tension hidden in this logline. You need to reshuffle and restructure this logline at least 10 times and believe me it will be quite fun to the possibilities. My suggestion would be to put your protagonist in a position where he has to choose between his duty/ vaRead more

    I can sense an interesting story and tension hidden in this logline. You need to reshuffle and restructure this logline at least 10 times and believe me it will be quite fun to the possibilities.
    My suggestion would be to put your protagonist in a position where he has to choose between his duty/ values and the dirty business he is in.

    Example: A corrupt rural sheriff’s life comes under jeopardy when he has to decide between his duty and the dirty business of protecting his drug lord.

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  2. Posted: July 9, 2014In:

    People spend too much time living and working for the system and forget about themselves and their dreams. Follow Your Dreams!

    Jaffer Penpusher

    I think your lines do not perfectly fit the structure of an intriguing logline. It's more like an opinion rather than a logline. There is no mention of any protagonist and his motive or any hint of the situation to create any curiosity. Example: Boarded and tired of his routine job, a young softwareRead more

    I think your lines do not perfectly fit the structure of an intriguing logline. It’s more like an opinion rather than a logline. There is no mention of any protagonist and his motive or any hint of the situation to create any curiosity.

    Example: Boarded and tired of his routine job, a young software engineer accidentally discovers his true calling and embarks on an adventure of his lifetime.

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