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A group of car salesmen murder a friend so they go can retrieve a stolen retro car.
It's unclear how the murder of the friend has any connection to the stolen retro car.
It’s unclear how the murder of the friend has any connection to the stolen retro car.
See lessWhen his sister is taken, a rule-loving fiddler crab breaks out of his shell and dives claw first into a global climate crisis to save her.
A like the idea of an animated family adventure involving a timely issue like the global climate crisis so you've got a great hook. I think a bit more detail could strengthen the logline. I'd clarify how or by who the sister crab gets taken and how the protagonist crab "breaks out of his shell" to sRead more
A like the idea of an animated family adventure involving a timely issue like the global climate crisis so you’ve got a great hook. I think a bit more detail could strengthen the logline. I’d clarify how or by who the sister crab gets taken and how the protagonist crab “breaks out of his shell” to save her. Something to help visualize the story more. Overall, I like what’s here.
See lessAs a compulsive gambler watches a game that could erase his huge debt to a dangerous bookie, he thinks about how he got to this point and everything he has at stake.
Thanks for the feedback, Philippe.The thinking back I refer to is the protagonist's backstory told through flashback as the game unfolds, not just him sitting there as he thinks. Perhaps that's not coming through in the current logline and I need to clarify it.
Thanks for the feedback, Philippe.The thinking back I refer to is the protagonist’s backstory told through flashback as the game unfolds, not just him sitting there as he thinks. Perhaps that’s not coming through in the current logline and I need to clarify it.
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