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  1. Posted: September 25, 2015In: Drama

    A desperate CEO’s legally ambiguous plans to save his company are undermined when he is blackmailed by a mysterious ex-employee.

    Key Payton Logliner
    Added an answer on September 28, 2015 at 3:20 pm

    In my suggested logline, I used "benevolent" to increase the logline's irony (nearly always a good thing in a logline). When you've got a CEO using dubious means to save his corporation, it's more ironic if the corporation is benevolent ? it makes his dubious choice all the more ironic and ethics-chRead more

    In my suggested logline, I used “benevolent” to increase the logline’s irony (nearly always a good thing in a logline).

    When you’ve got a CEO using dubious means to save his corporation, it’s more ironic if the corporation is benevolent ? it makes his dubious choice all the more ironic and ethics-challenging.

    Of course, that may not be the story steveylang intends to tell. But it would be an interesting one.

    Also, generally, in Hollywood loglines (with their wide-sale ambitions), mentioning a corporation automatically implies that it’s a corporation of some worth-watching size. “Small” corporations seldom show up in Hollywood stories, unless they are comedies. Just sayin’.

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  2. Posted: September 19, 2015In: Comedy

    When a disheartened pastor?s one-time love turned wild celebrity whirls back into his small town, he falls for her, not knowing if she will be his ruin or his revival.

    Key Payton Logliner
    Added an answer on September 25, 2015 at 9:03 am

    I agree with steveylang that this has rom-com potential. Here's my suggested version: ?When a disheartened pastor's small town is ?graced? by the return of his one-time-lover-now-turned-major-celebrity, he must?struggle?between his still-strong attraction, what he thinks best for?the community, andRead more

    I agree with steveylang that this has rom-com potential. Here’s my suggested version:
    ?When a disheartened pastor’s small town is ?graced? by the return of his one-time-lover-now-turned-major-celebrity, he must?struggle?between his still-strong attraction, what he thinks best for?the community, and how the Lord might still move in mysterious ways.?

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  3. Posted: September 25, 2015In: Drama

    A desperate CEO’s legally ambiguous plans to save his company are undermined when he is blackmailed by a mysterious ex-employee.

    Key Payton Logliner
    Added an answer on September 25, 2015 at 8:51 am

    My suggestion: "When a?desperate CEO sets out to save his benevolent company using dubious means, he finds his reason for existence?in the blackmailing clutches of??a?mysterious woman who says she once worked for him."

    My suggestion:

    “When a?desperate CEO sets out to save his benevolent company using dubious means, he finds his reason for existence?in the blackmailing clutches of??a?mysterious woman who says she once worked for him.”

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