1. Posted: February 27, 2017In:

    when a freedom believer urges his tribe to be free, he gets caught by another tribe to be sold asa slave .

    Lars Logliner

    i find a few questions can really tease out what might benefit from going into the logline:What's his specific goal here? is it to escape? or is it bigger than that? How?does the 'urging his tribe to be free' connect to him being caught by another tribe? What's most especially interesting about thisRead more

    i find a few questions can really tease out what might benefit from going into the logline:

    What’s his specific goal here? is it to escape? or is it bigger than that?
    How?does the ‘urging his tribe to be free’ connect to him being caught by another tribe?
    What’s most especially interesting about this character inthe context of the incitingincident and the specific goal?
    who is the antagonist?

    For me this logline makes me imagine that most of the movie is our?protaginst struggling to escape – is that what’s intended?

    good luck!

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  2. Posted: February 27, 2017In:

    Update: When a night of UFO watching goes terribly wrong, a 12-year-old aspiring astronaut makes contact in a way she never expected. (SciFi/Family)

    Lars Logliner

    Hi Erica,to me it's a bit too opaque. ?I think it's suffering from what Blake Snyder refers to in STC3 as Hiding the Ball. ?It tells me something mysterious is going on - but I don't know what - it may have something to do with AlIens but possibly?not. I guess the question is, would i watch or finanRead more

    Hi Erica,

    to me it’s a bit too opaque. ?I think it’s suffering from what Blake Snyder refers to in STC3 as Hiding the Ball. ?It tells me something mysterious is going on – but I don’t know what – it may have something to do with AlIens but possibly?not.
    I guess the question is, would i watch or finance this movie to see ‘how alien contact is made in an unexpected way?’ ? And I don’t think i would.
    Whereas if you told me a bit more about the protagonist and her goal and what the meat of this story is about – then I’d ?likely be much more keen
    good luck!

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  3. Posted: February 22, 2017In:

    When a humiliated teen starts visualizing the true desires of any female he touches, he gets a chance to win the girl away from his Machiavellian rival.

    Lars Logliner

    I feel like I've a had masterclass seminar on this -so thank you all. I must be able to pull out ?a logline now ... I'll stew on a few ideas today ... So thank you and apologies in advance because... I'll be back soon with another variation

    I feel like I’ve a had masterclass seminar on this -so thank you all. I must be able to pull out ?a logline now …

    I’ll stew on a few ideas today … So thank you and apologies in advance because… I’ll be back soon with another variation

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