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In search of the ‘ultimate high’, a gang of high school misfits skip school set on finding an abandoned cannabis crop all while trying to evade a pair of obsessive truant officers.
Check out the formula tab to help with formatting. The recommended format is:When [a major event happens], [the hero], must [do the main action].I would recommend choosing ?one member of this group of misfits to be the protagonist. It's a lot easier for the audience to emotionally invest in the filmRead more
Check out the formula tab to help with formatting. The recommended format is:
When [a major event happens], [the hero], must [do the main action].
I would recommend choosing ?one member of this group of misfits to be the protagonist. It’s a lot easier for the audience to emotionally invest in the film when there is predominantly one person they’re supposed to be investing in. Even in ensemble films there is usually one character who is the “main” one. Great example for a comedy like yours is Jim (Jason Biggs) in American Pie. Make sure to suggest at some sort of emotional arc too – you can use a characteristic to do this. I think it’s really important that these characters aren’t simply looking for weed. Most teen comedies of this sort are “coming of age” stories and the search is more about finding themselves than the prize (again see American Pie).
Other than that though, I think this has all the elements.
See lessWhen a broken hearted assault victim finds self-defence classes, a hidden talent for martial arts is unlocked. Her powers are challenged by an enemy Kung Fu clan who seek to destroy her and the school. (Revised edition).
Why do the enemy clan want to destroy her and the school? A good way to make sure your villains are 3 dimensional is to write a logline from their perspective too. All the best villains have rational motives even if the audience doesn't necessarily agree with them. I think her journey from victim toRead more
Why do the enemy clan want to destroy her and the school? A good way to make sure your villains are 3 dimensional is to write a logline from their perspective too. All the best villains have rational motives even if the audience doesn’t necessarily agree with them.
I think her journey from victim to empowered is great! I just feel like we need to understand what she’s fighting for. If this fight puts her life on the line then why wouldn’t she just walk away? Why does she have to fight?
This does sound remarkably similar to The Karate Kid now – bullied kid finds martial arts and has to compete against the bullying rival clan. What’s the hook? What makes this story unique?
See lessA space alien and her Paiute Indian female friend cause a day that Las Vegas stood still, thus alarming the earth leaders into disassembling all nuclear weapons.
I think the majority of my points from your alternative version of this logline still stand. This one makes less sense though. So Las Vegas stood still for a day and completely unprompted mankind thinks the logical next step is to disassemble all nuclear weapons. Independence Day is a great exampleRead more
I think the majority of my points from your alternative version of this logline still stand.
This one makes less sense though. So Las Vegas stood still for a day and completely unprompted mankind thinks the logical next step is to disassemble all nuclear weapons. Independence Day is a great example of what mankind will do with nuclear weapons when aliens appear and mess with us. Or Aliens (nuke the site from orbit). Mankind loves to fight and we have a long and bloody history to prove it. Aliens appearing isn’t going to change that – particularly when there’s no reason for it.
Hope this helps.
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