Whilst the formula suggested on logline is merely a guideline, I do feel like this version would benefit from it. The reason why this formula is so useful is because, chronologically, it follows the story. Starts with the inciting incident (which in your new version is at the end) and then leads into the journey through Act II.

The protagonist doing something reluctantly… to me this is problematic. Whilst he’s taking action, his reluctance could make the audience wonder why they should care if he doesn’t really want to be there. Obviously, you haven’t stated why he’s reluctant BUT this ambiguity is problematic too.

I’m guessing their goal is to stop the warrior but you haven’t actually stated that. All we have so far is Act I with the break into Act II being where the warrior teams up with the princess. What happens next? What must they do?

Why does he need to team up with the princess? Part of me thinks it might be worth leaving this out of the logline and focussing on the hero’s story. With her introduction, it leaves me with a lot more questions that the word count simply won’t allow for.

Does the story change at all if he’s not a werewolf? I like the idea, I just want to make sure there’s a reason for it.

When the knight who slaughtered his village years ago returns to wreak havoc again, an impulsive young werewolf must XXXXXXXXX

Hope this helps.

As dpg has pointed out, this is more of a tagline than a logline. Check out the formula page for help with formatting and give us more information about who this character is, what pushes her to go on this journey and what she hopes to achieve.

Specifics would be good too. Is she a singer? Actor? Musician? Where does she start? What visual goal is she actually trying to achieve?

Films like this usually have a mentor character (A Star is Born, Eddie the Eagle, Cool Runnings, etc etc) so if that’s your plan then maybe consider working that into the logline too.

You’ve put this into the “adventure” genre. I would argue that’s probably more of a drama but without more information I couldn’t say for sure. Critic?Don D’Ammassa?defines the genre as follows: An event or series of events that happens outside the course of the protagonist’s ordinary life, usually accompanied by danger, often by physical action. Something to keep in mind going forward.?