Have an account? Sign In Now
Lost your password? Please enter your email address. You will receive a link and will create a new password via email.
Please briefly explain why you feel this question should be reported.
Please briefly explain why you feel this answer should be reported.
Please briefly explain why you feel this user should be reported.
A demonically supercharged serial killer dupes his way into a single mother’s life which rouses a talented FBI agent from retirement and awakens Poseidon.
What's Poseidon got to do with it? How is a completely normal FBI agent with no superpowers supposed to stand his own against a superpowered serial killer? How does him duping his way into a single mother's life get any attention from the FBI? If they're watching him this closely, they'd have arrestRead more
What’s Poseidon got to do with it? How is a completely normal FBI agent with no superpowers supposed to stand his own against a superpowered serial killer? How does him duping his way into a single mother’s life get any attention from the FBI? If they’re watching him this closely, they’d have arrested him already… surely?!
I think this idea is just very confused. It starts off like a rom-com, then into a crime thriller, and finally ends with Poseidon.
Who’s the protagonist? A serial killer? Who, incidentally, is not trying to kill anyone. If it is the serial killer, what’s his goal?
I think some thought needs to go into what this story is supposed to be about and why. Sometimes, simplicity is the answer. Why not strip this back to a serial killer falls in love with the single mother whom he planned to kill.
As a side note, please keep future versions of this logline within one post. It’s really useful for users to see the evolution of the idea and the corresponding feedback.
Hope this helps in some way.
See lessAfter being dumped by his girlfriend for the bad boy, a nice guy wishes everyone was nice and wakes up in a world where everyone is, but discovers a nice world isn?t so nice
So what's his goal? To change it back? Win his girlfriend back? I really like the concept. Fun and Games section will be great. We just need to understand what he's trying to achieve?I like ending the logline on this kinda "..." open-ended thing. In my opinion, the hook should be placed for maximumRead more
So what’s his goal? To change it back? Win his girlfriend back? I really like the concept. Fun and Games section will be great. We just need to understand what he’s trying to achieve?
I like ending the logline on this kinda “…” open-ended thing. In my opinion, the hook should be placed for maximum impact. More often than not, that’s the start or the end. So I would advise keeping the “nice world isn’t so nice” but figure out a way to add his goal in after this discovery.
Great title too!
See lessA selfish party-animal on a fast track to nowhere decides to volunteer at the children?s hospital to win back his ex-girlfriend. But when the children in his care turn into flesh-eating demons, he dives in the thick of an invasion to save her, joining a group of proper do-gooders as they search for survivors.
I've commented on your previous one. In future, try to keep it all within one post. It's easier for other users to see the evolution of your logline. What I do is update the main one and put a "1st version" in the comments. You could always boost it then if you wanted.
I’ve commented on your previous one. In future, try to keep it all within one post. It’s easier for other users to see the evolution of your logline. What I do is update the main one and put a “1st version” in the comments. You could always boost it then if you wanted.
See less