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As a gang-ravaged inner-city estate is torn apart by a feral beast that feeds on hate and violence, one man trying to renounce his brutal past, must make his way through the bone shattering carnage to find his daughter.
The phrasing here is very off-putting, as is the unnecessary punctuation and excessive use of adjectives. Try arranging it more like: The protagonist engages in this conflict with the antagonist because of these stakes. It looks like you have all those details, they just need to flow better to be moRead more
The phrasing here is very off-putting, as is the unnecessary punctuation and excessive use of adjectives. Try arranging it more like:
The protagonist engages in this conflict with the antagonist because of these stakes.
It looks like you have all those details, they just need to flow better to be more compelling.
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