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When a brain injury puts a surefire pro football prospect's institutional loyalty into question, he must rediscover himself and rise to protect his teammates from a ruthless coaching staff.
Great suggestion, Paul. The injury is the culmination of act 1, the rediscovery (love interest, education and re-entry into athletics) is the midpoint and the discovery of his true injury is when act 3 begins. The conflict with the coaching staff is the climax. I'm stuck on how to best convey the seRead more
Great suggestion, Paul. The injury is the culmination of act 1, the rediscovery (love interest, education and re-entry into athletics) is the midpoint and the discovery of his true injury is when act 3 begins. The conflict with the coaching staff is the climax. I’m stuck on how to best convey the second act turn in the logline. And REALLY give the reader an idea of what transpires.
See lessWhen a brain injury puts a surefire pro football prospect's institutional loyalty into question, he must rediscover himself and rise to protect his teammates from a ruthless coaching staff.
Finally able to relax and unpack this a bit. So, yes, his lifelong goal and identity was professional football. Since he becomes damaged goods, he's thrust into the world of education through an old love interest. Through his sessions with her, he learns that his identity is MORE than football. He hRead more
Finally able to relax and unpack this a bit. So, yes, his lifelong goal and identity was professional football. Since he becomes damaged goods, he’s thrust into the world of education through an old love interest. Through his sessions with her, he learns that his identity is MORE than football. He has abilities he’s never known of. Before he can fully pursue them, he’s pressured to return early after a colleague is injured. So that said, he’s reinjured and it blooms into something worse than he could possibly imagine. Then he uses his new knowledge to unearth a scandal in the program. Something that is frighteningly commonplace in locker rooms today.
All this being said, he IS rediscovering his identity, but it’s difficult to put it in a way that’s tantalizing to the reader. He uses his updated “warrior” identity (aka knowledge) to rise up and protect his fellow teammates. Several of which are playing with the same injury. So really, he’s fighting for their right to an education – whether they play or not.
Oh and the coach is the antagonist, but he’s a master politician who tries to play “good cop.” His staff is the army of darkness.
Phew. Does that help? Thanks again for that kickass feedback!
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