1. Posted: March 13, 2013In:

    A patriotic soldier is left behind after a failed mission to destroy a stash of explosives in a Middle Eastern village. He befriends a little girl who help him survive and make him see the effects of the war and when his team comes back to wipe out the entire village, he is forced to pick a side.

    paulsavarese

    Need to tighten up grammar and spelling. Also drop the "what he learns aspect."

    Need to tighten up grammar and spelling. Also drop the “what he learns aspect.”

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  2. Posted: February 26, 2013In:

    Three fathers learn of their teenage daughters? pact to lose their virginity on prom night and band together to stop them.

    paulsavarese

    Very simple, to the point, and has a great concept. Immediately spawns all sorts of visions and possibilities. Very nice!

    Very simple, to the point, and has a great concept. Immediately spawns all sorts of visions and possibilities. Very nice!

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  3. Posted: March 11, 2013In:

    A former rodeo star unknowingly starts a rapport with a young man who is responsible for all of the violence that has suddenly gripped his small town.

    paulsavarese

    I find myself reading it more than once trying to understand it. Also "unknowingly" leaves me confused. Unbeknownst to whom and why is that critical?

    I find myself reading it more than once trying to understand it. Also “unknowingly” leaves me confused. Unbeknownst to whom and why is that critical?

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