1. Posted: May 3, 2019In:

    After a graduate student is asked to identify a body?his pot-dealer?s, he enlists the help of two other clients to give the man a proper burial.

    Robb Ross Samurai

    Try a logline for each possibility as writing the thoughts is the only way forward. Since you don't have the answer as to what was in the envelope, consider that the story doesn't answer it, either. It could be a McGuffin or running joke or...

    Try a logline for each possibility as writing the thoughts is the only way forward.

    Since you don’t have the answer as to what was in the envelope, consider that the story doesn’t answer it, either. It could be a McGuffin or running joke or…

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  2. Posted: April 18, 2019In:

    Destiny brings a lonely sketch artist and a bohemian girl together. Despite fate granting them one night, they are forever bound by a magical origami legend.

    Robb Ross Samurai

    Say more about the sketch artist since "lonely" is either assumed or not as significant as a flaw or issue. Since they're in the same ballpark (an artist and a bohemian), the external conflict is even more important? Or make them opposites in some way.? Same with the girl, "bohemian" may not be enouRead more

    Say more about the sketch artist since “lonely” is either assumed or not as significant as a flaw or issue. Since they’re in the same ballpark (an artist and a bohemian), the external conflict is even more important? Or make them opposites in some way.? Same with the girl, “bohemian” may not be enough if the story is equally about the two…a two-hander, as they say, as opposed to a one-hander romance that is more about one character being completed by the other.

    Explain the legend in a way that is understood.

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  3. Posted: April 9, 2019In:

    In search of the ‘ultimate high’, a gang of high school misfits skip school set on finding an abandoned cannabis crop all while trying to evade a pair of obsessive truant officers.

    Robb Ross Samurai

    Very good start.The plot can be a little sharper. If this is "Pineapple Express with teens," then definitely go with the growers or other bigger antags. But if it's "Superbad with pot," meaning it's? about the quest to the location (which they reach in Act III), then the truant officers... seem okayRead more

    Very good start.

    The plot can be a little sharper. If this is “Pineapple Express with teens,” then definitely go with the growers or other bigger antags. But if it’s “Superbad with pot,” meaning it’s? about the quest to the location (which they reach in Act III), then the truant officers… seem okay. Try to add another sense of the trouble along the way, if it’s a quest. Same with an issue for the protag or co-leads, as in the two movies mentioned and as Mike mentions.

    Add a sense of location.

    >> In search of the ultimate high

    This can be cut and replaced with a description of the crop being a new strain or such. Or they don’t care about the quality, it’s about a huge amount of free weed.

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