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When a TV program is set to launch an expose on a commune, a member who sought refuge in the group because his grandfather’s murder was instigated by the media, devices a plan to sabotage the TV network and protect his identity.
Thank you. The protagonist didn't commit the murder, the media's involvement led to someone else killing his grandfather, spurned on by the media. Maybe this confuses everything. I guess that's your point. Perhaps I t should read: When a TV network is okayed to launch an expos? of a commune, a new mRead more
Thank you. The protagonist didn’t commit the murder, the media’s involvement led to someone else killing his grandfather, spurned on by the media. Maybe this confuses everything. I guess that’s your point. Perhaps I t should read:
When a TV network is okayed to launch an expos? of a commune, a new member who is running from the media and actually sought refuge in the group decides to sabotage the network’s expos? hoping to keep the media out of his life forever.
See lessTerrified of his parents suspicions, a freshly outed gay high school senior must get a girlfriend so his parents will think he is straight.
"Freshly outed," is an odd word combo. Maybe the way?the kid is outed (the missing event) leads to his choice to make arrangements for a "girlfriend." This suggest that he is outed at school or work and that his parents aren't aware of the outing. If he was outed in front of his parents, then the giRead more
“Freshly outed,” is an odd word combo. Maybe the way?the kid is outed (the missing event) leads to his choice to make arrangements for a “girlfriend.” This suggest that he is outed at school or work and that his parents aren’t aware of the outing. If he was outed in front of his parents, then the girlfriend idea would be pointless. Maybe he is outed in one place in the story and there is a sense that the news will be traveling to his parents over the course of a day. A time element (clicking rocks) is important in the latter half of the screenplay. “Getting a girlfriend” isn’t believable either, it implies a random female is in the ready to act as the prop he suddenly needs to solve a problem. Maybe it is his boyfriends sister who agrees to step in while he figures out a way to properly come out to his parents. Perhaps, they depend on a confusion over names. Then, the parents meet the girl’s family and they really like each other. Then in a double?family outing, they let the parents of the gay boy know what’s really happening. The audience knows this is going to happen, so it will be very exciting to see how they tell them. Maybe they put on a family play and go back to the name confusion theme. I go in this direction because the logline as it stands implies that the solution and end of the story is to be okay with living a lie and to be unloyal to the parents. I think an end note of acceptance is better. How about: “When a?high school’s?theatrical production leads to an unforeseen outing of the main star, the frightened student?reaches out to his boyfriend’s family to find the best way to ease his family into his new lifestyle.” The event should be emphasized – beyond just a random “outing.” How it occurs can be part of what John Truby calls the “design principle” of the story. In Tootsie, the design principal is the use of a TV soap opera setting to play out the character development – it made sense because it was a world where people wore costumes, make-up, etc. It sounds like a wonderful beginning!
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