The story would be set in New York.

But the more and more I think about it I want to write this hugely epic mafia movie. But I want to keep it relatable by telling a a story about a man who is afraid of what his legacy will be – and whether he has been a good father.

Something on the scale of The Godfather, but whereas that movie focused more on the son (Michael) and less on his father (Vitto). I want to write a screenplay that concentrates more on the father.

With that revelation the story now becomes entirely different.

NEW LOGLINE: A mafia boss – dying from cancer – struggles to deal with his treacherous relatives while grooming his son to take control of his empire.

Protagonist: remains the mafia boss
Goal: To ensure his son is able to competently run the family business after he is gone.
Antagonist: Other family members who want power for themselves and want the mafia boss and his son out of the picture.

The construction of this logline was heavily influenced by many of the examples in Lockharts logline library. Reading through his library I’ve come to notice many of the examples he lists don’t have clear goals or antagonists outlined in their loglines – or at least they not in your face, clearly evident e.g. the logline for Australia, Fred Claus, Ghost World etc.. But I do believe my logline does meet all 3 of the criteria that Lockhart provides.