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When a young boy would rather live in his daydreams than face the harsh truth of his bullied school boy existence, his teacher and parents must rescue him before he is lost forever.
I would focus on who the story is mainly about, like the other comment said. Is it about the boy, the teacher, or his parents? If it's all, maybe make them all the main focus. I would also put his description of him being a bullied school boy in the beginning, which will shorten it. "When a bulliedRead more
I would focus on who the story is mainly about, like the other comment said. Is it about the boy, the teacher, or his parents? If it’s all, maybe make them all the main focus.
I would also put his description of him being a bullied school boy in the beginning, which will shorten it.
“When a bullied school boy would rather live in his daydreams than face the harsh truths of reality, his teacher and parents must rescue him before he is lost forever.”
Something like that maybe?
See lessWhen an author encounters the characters he writes in the real world, creating a number of awkward and humorous moments, he must help them assimilate or return to the stories they belong in.
I like the premise a lot. I would lose the part about what kind of emotion the story creates to the audience (awkward and humorous) and leave the rest. Let the audience experience these emotions themselves.
I like the premise a lot. I would lose the part about what kind of emotion the story creates to the audience (awkward and humorous) and leave the rest. Let the audience experience these emotions themselves.
See less