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Four thirty-something guys deal with different stages of fatherhood, whilst working out along the way that they have barely grown up themselves.
Hi! What you have written sounds like an intresting concept, but I don't get any idea of what's going to happen in the movie. What will I get to see except a bunch of guys walking around, thinking of life? Is there a main character or are all four of them main characters? (I would personally preferRead more
Hi!
What you have written sounds like an intresting concept, but I don’t get any idea of what’s going to happen in the movie. What will I get to see except a bunch of guys walking around, thinking of life?
Is there a main character or are all four of them main characters? (I would personally prefer if one guy got the main part and the other were there as his friends).
What goal do the main character(s) have? And what must he (they) do reach that?
What is the inciting incident that gets the whole story started?
Figure these things out and include them in the logline.
Hope this helped 🙂
See lessThe most famous serial killer of the year has gotten very lonely. Wishing to have a friend who would accept him, joins a support group with very different and grotesque addicted people. One of those people is an overworked Agent who is part of a case to catch the most famous serial killer of the year.
I think the main character needs a clear end-goal. As it is now, the only goal presented in the logline is "to find a friend", but as far as I understand it, he finds that early on in the movie (when he joins the group). He also needs a main action, something he must do to reach his goal. Maybe he nRead more
I think the main character needs a clear end-goal. As it is now, the only goal presented in the logline is “to find a friend”, but as far as I understand it, he finds that early on in the movie (when he joins the group). He also needs a main action, something he must do to reach his goal. Maybe he needs to cover his tracks before before the Agent finds out he is the killer, in order to keep him/her as his friend?
Also, this logline could be boiled down to a shorter one. Including the main action and the goal, maybe something more like this:
“When a lonly serial killer joins a support group and take intrest in an other member, an overworked agent who is assigned to solve the murders he commited, he must cover his tracks before she finds out he is guilty in order to keep her as a friend.”
Hope this helped 🙂
See lessAn insecure prison doctor cooks up misfortune for inmates when she discovers a desire to care for burn victims.
This sounds like an intresting concept and you have a good main character, but to make it a better logline it needs three things: 1. An inciting incident: what happens that makes her discover that desire? Whats gets the story starting? 2. A clear goal for the main character. 3. A main action: what mRead more
This sounds like an intresting concept and you have a good main character, but to make it a better logline it needs three things:
1. An inciting incident: what happens that makes her discover that desire? Whats gets the story starting?
2. A clear goal for the main character.
3. A main action: what must the doctor do to reach her goal?
Hope it helped! 🙂
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