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?In the desolate future, when a carefree and adventurous teenager is suddenly forced from his underground bunker into the world outside, he will have to mature quickly if he is to survive both the wilderness and the rogues that inhabit it.?
This has good parts, I clearly understand the main character,? the inciting incident and what the teenager has to do to survive. My concern is that in a desolate future - how does a teenager end up carefree? And if he's lived all his life in an underground bunker how can he be adventurous? Maybe curRead more
This has good parts, I clearly understand the main character,? the inciting incident and what the teenager has to do to survive.
My concern is that in a desolate future – how does a teenager end up carefree? And if he’s lived all his life in an underground bunker how can he be adventurous? Maybe curious rather than adventurous? And the other comment is around his end goal. “To survive” could mean a never-ending battle.? Might work for TV.
Just my 2c worth.
See lessIn 2100 Hollywood, a detective falsely accused of murder must clear her name by tracking down the real suspect: a famous actress cloned from her younger self’s DNA. ORPHAN BLACK meets MINORITY REPORT.
Maybe it needs to be more clear that since the detective and the actress share the exact same DNA, any DNA found at the murder scene could be attributed to either person.? Although how you'd do that in a logline.... not sure. Just my 2 c worth.
Maybe it needs to be more clear that since the detective and the actress share the exact same DNA, any DNA found at the murder scene could be attributed to either person.? Although how you’d do that in a logline…. not sure.
Just my 2 c worth.
See lessWhen a narcissistic property developer is convicted for murdering a government official, he must untangle the web of deceit, to prove his innocence
Although there are many good comments about the original,? just my 2 cents worth...? the original logline reads better than the revised version.
Although there are many good comments about the original,? just my 2 cents worth…? the original logline reads better than the revised version.
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