1. Posted: April 13, 2019In:

    In 1977, a reformed ex-con must return to New York City?s violent underworld in order to save his childhood best friend from a dangerous gangster.

    thedarkhorse Samurai

    Hi guys. Thanks for the feedback. What do you think of this one? When a dangerous mob boss threatens to kill him, a drug dealer lures his childhood best friend, an ex-con struggling to rebuild his life, to help him make 10,000 dollars in one week. The ex-con is a former drug dealer too but I want toRead more

    Hi guys.

    Thanks for the feedback.

    What do you think of this one?

    When a dangerous mob boss threatens to kill him, a drug dealer lures his childhood best friend, an ex-con struggling to rebuild his life, to help him make 10,000 dollars in one week.

    The ex-con is a former drug dealer too but I want to mention he?s been in prison.

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  2. Posted: April 13, 2019In:

    A retired spy living the high life on the French Riviera must confront his dark, shameful past when he is blackmailed into entrapping a Nazi war criminal.

    thedarkhorse Samurai

    Hi everyone. Thanks for the feedback. How about this one? After being blackmailed by a former colleague, a British double agent from WWII is forced out of retirement to spy on on his American counterpart, a Nazi war criminal hiding on the French Riviera.? I dropped the dark, shameful past. I?m hopinRead more

    Hi everyone. Thanks for the feedback.

    How about this one?

    After being blackmailed by a former colleague, a British double agent from WWII is forced out of retirement to spy on on his American counterpart, a Nazi war criminal hiding on the French Riviera.?

    I dropped the dark, shameful past. I?m hoping ?blackmailed? is enough. Do you need to know what the blackmail is? If so I might say ?blackmailed with treason??

    The former colleague tells him he?ll expose him to the Nazi?s who he worked alongside and who believe him to be dead. At this point I think I need to change my script to suit my logline. I like treason – I think that would add real stakes.

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  3. Posted: April 13, 2019In:

    In the snowy Montana wilderness, a mysterious frontiersman protects a homestead family from a corrupt lawman and his posse.

    thedarkhorse Samurai

    Hey. Thanks for the feedback. I've looked at the formula.?What do you think of this one? When a corrupt U.S. Marshall, under orders from a brutal company, begins taking land from homesteaders refusing to sell, a wanted frontiersman must protect the homestead family he has taken refuge with.

    Hey. Thanks for the feedback.

    I’ve looked at the formula.?What do you think of this one?

    When a corrupt U.S. Marshall, under orders from a brutal company, begins taking land from homesteaders refusing to sell, a wanted frontiersman must protect the homestead family he has taken refuge with.

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