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When she arrives at a trading post, her missing husband makes her very popular with the local marshalls
Agree with Richiev.You have given us a set-up (but no story...) -- and a pretty confusing one at that (how can her husband be missing, yet still be able to 'make her popular with the local Marshals...'? ..and what does 'making popular' actually mean??) -- WHO is the Main Character, WHAT is the MAINRead more
Agree with Richiev.
You have given us a set-up (but no story…) — and a pretty confusing one at that (how can her husband be missing, yet still be able to ‘make her popular with the local Marshals…’? ..and what does ‘making popular’ actually mean??) — WHO is the Main Character, WHAT is the MAIN problem they have to overcome, and HOW do they intend to overcome it(THIS SPECIFIC person is in THIS SPECIFIC situation, and must do THIS SPECIFIC thing… )
The only question a logline should leave an audience with is “How are they going to do THAT??” — a logline should not leave an audience wanting in regards to WHO the character is and WHAT it is they ?HAVE to do during the course of the movie.
Best of luck.
See less[Revisedx2] For refusing to buy more catnip, a vengeful cat calls upon the dark arts to end an insensitive mother’s career.
...or here is a take with the focus on the Girl as the Protag (a bit long in the word-count...): 'A lonely young girl learns spell weaving from her magical cat in order to curse her career obsessed mother with backward speech as revenge for refusing to restock the cat?s supply of catnip.' Anyways --Read more
…or here is a take with the focus on the Girl as the Protag (a bit long in the word-count…):
‘A lonely young girl learns spell weaving from her magical cat in order to curse her career obsessed mother with backward speech as revenge for refusing to restock the cat?s supply of catnip.’
Anyways — just some ideas.
See lessA rebellious teen?s family goes missing. During her search for them, she uncovers a government conspiracy to end all religion.
We need to know what the ?teen plans on doing about the conspiracy (and why it would personally involve her at all..?) -- there are no logical?or personal?stakes here at all.
We need to know what the ?teen plans on doing about the conspiracy (and why it would personally involve her at all..?) — there are no logical?or personal?stakes here at all.
See less