1. Posted: July 19, 2014In:

    Armed with the power of a legendary Trident from another world, a soft-spoken teen must battle against the wrath of an aquatic alien species as well as that of his best friend, all who whom seek the Trident for their own purposes.

    Valentin Samurai

    You are telling us that you wrote that story 9 years! Because the book was published July 2005. You may disagree, but from your logline your story is eerily similar to Percy Jackson and the lightning thief. Young soft spoken boy discovers a secret weapon. That weapon belongs to powerful beings. It iRead more

    You are telling us that you wrote that story 9 years! Because the book was published July 2005.
    You may disagree, but from your logline your story is eerily similar to Percy Jackson and the lightning thief.
    Young soft spoken boy discovers a secret weapon. That weapon belongs to powerful beings. It is then stolen by arch nemesis who had initially pretend to befriend the hero.

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  2. Posted: January 30, 2014In:

    A plus size full figure woman slips and falls walking down Hollywood Blvd in front of a Casting Agent that just made a bet with his freind that he could find anyone work in Hollywood regardless of the circumstances. And so the Dramedy begins.

    Valentin Samurai

    Is it some modern comedy adaptation of "Les liaisons dangereuses" by de Laclos? Multiple adaptation already exists the one with Glenn Close, Valmont with Annette Bening and Colin Firth, Cruel Intention with Ryan Philip, Sarah Michelle Gellar and Reese Whetherspoon. In your version to win the bet, yoRead more

    Is it some modern comedy adaptation of “Les liaisons dangereuses” by de Laclos?
    Multiple adaptation already exists the one with Glenn Close, Valmont with Annette Bening and Colin Firth, Cruel Intention with Ryan Philip, Sarah Michelle Gellar and Reese Whetherspoon.
    In your version to win the bet, your protagonist or the Valmont equivalent has to transform the fat unsuccessful vulgar waitress into a successful actress.
    However your logline does not indicate why he had to do it. What is the reward to winning the bet? Also what happen if he loses?
    Up the ante, if Valmont loses he gets fired. If he succeed, his main client gets the lead role in the next blockbuster.
    After betting his career and the future of his main client, a casting agent must transform an overweight, charmless waitress into a serious actress.

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  3. Posted: January 28, 2014In:

    ?Sent to evaluate the crew and staff of a new U.S. state-of-the-art nuclear submarine during its trial runs, the head of the U. S. DoD PsyOps Division discovers her vengeful ex husband has planted a computer virus to destroy her while on board. Will this deadly psychological war destroy everything??

    Valentin Samurai

    I understand that you would like to see your script as a NCIS episode. Personally I see more potential in the premise as a stand alone movie. Think a mix of Crimson Tide, Speed and Die Hard with a vengeance. Bar a coffin or the trunck of a car, you are unlikely to find more claustrophobic and confinRead more

    I understand that you would like to see your script as a NCIS episode. Personally I see more potential in the premise as a stand alone movie.
    Think a mix of Crimson Tide, Speed and Die Hard with a vengeance.
    Bar a coffin or the trunck of a car, you are unlikely to find more claustrophobic and confined settings than a submarine.

    The movies 12 rounds (1 and 2) are exactly based on the concept that an all seeing vengeful antagonist makes the protagonist run through challenges. To win the protagonist has to outsmart and/or outfight him.
    All you need is to write increasingly difficult challenges:

    + Make them run through the submarine just to find an object
    + cut their ability to communicate across the submarine so they have to use runners (physical/visual better than talky walky)
    + Solve a riddle to find the next clue.
    + Somebody sacrifies himself.
    + Cut their air supply.

    Hope all those ideas help with your script. Let me know when you finishes it.

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