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thedarkhorseSamurai
An ex-con sets out to kill the reformed paedophile who he believes murdered his child, only to fall for the man’s protective sister.
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Loglines I’m experimenting with…
1.? An ex-con sets out to kill the paedophile who molested him as a child only to fall for the man’s protective sister. – DPG’s one.
2. An ex-con sets out to kill a reformed paedophile whom he believes is responsible for the disappearances of several children.
– edging towards thriller territory here. This one is very weak.
3. An ex-con sets out to kill the reformed paedophile who he believes murdered his child, only to fall for the man’s protective sister.
– I like this one the most just because the goal is very specific and I think the conflict pops.
4. An ex-con, defending a reformed paedophile from an angry mob ? begins to doubt the man?s innocence. -? mikepedley’s idea.
Some of my comments on your previous version are now rendered redundant hahaha!
What happens after he falls for the sister? What’s his new goal? Like I mentioned in the previous version of this logline, is the relationship with the sister the A-story or the B-story?
Maybe something like (from the MPR):
but when he discovers the real truth the ex-con must protect the sex offender from a community that despises him.
My attempt isn’t perfect by any stretch … but I think since the story is primarily about the two convicts (which I think is great) it’s important to keep that front and centre.