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When a policeman\'s family is kidnapped by a sadistic crime lord he must kill the chief of police, his father in law, to save them.
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Since not all cops are honest, it might not be superfulous and might even highten the tension to refer to the hero as an ‘honest cop’ or some other adjective that suggests the same. Otherwise it sounds like a solid premise for a cop film. Could the ‘sadistic crime lord’ be a corrupt politician instead? Just trying to think of some kind of twist on the cop vs mafia thing 🙂
I like this logline.
Sometimes it helps if you end on a strong word. (I will add in Phil’s, honest cop, suggestion)
—–
“When an honest cop’s family is kidnapped by a sadistic crime lord, he’s ordered to murder the chief of police; his father in law, or they will be killed.”
—–
This way the logline ends on the word ‘Killed’ instead of ‘them’.
But ultimately this logline is strong, I would suggest only minor changes.
Thanks guys both excellent comments and I’ll use the advice in both of them
I would agree with the above comments. It tells us exactly what we need to know in a short sentence, and gives us stakes, drama, a hook, and clear goodies and baddies (excuse the terms). I can see where the others are coming from in terms of ending on a stronger word plus perhaps adding in another twist so it doesn’t sound like your normal cop vs crime lord movie.
The log line works just think it needs a little spicing up.