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It reads like an opening line or a teaser not a complete logline. Also delete"When" and start with"A" and delete "starts to get raped" and insert "gets raped" to tighten it up and make the action more immediate
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It reads like an opening line or a teaser not a complete logline. Also delete"When" and start with"A" and delete "starts to get raped" and insert "gets raped" to tighten it up and make the action more immediate