by CraigDGriffiths · Legend · 12,600 pts
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Categories: Crime
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Philosophy aside, I understand the point you made clear in the first instance. The "good person does a bad thing for the right reason" theme can still be used in your story, however I believe that the plot isn't working.
The list of beats you posted above do not come across as a sound structure to me, perhaps it would be more beneficial to take into account the comments given and consider re structuring the plot. The main character can still be a "bad" person or not likable, but their story needs to be compelling in its motivation and stakes, to do this a re structuring the plot will likely help.
I believe strongly in unlikable protagonists. ?I don't believe a character has to be likable. ?I believe they have to be compelling. ?Breaking Bad, As Good As It Gets... so on and so on. ?I was trying to show that she has no choice. ?Poverty removes all choices. ?The Police are playing on her lack of choice and showing her that they can make it a lot worse.
The reason I have strayed away from "kidnapped" as that it implies a demand. ?Holding her sister is a far more implied threat. ?I want to look at things people do when ?they are pushed and have little choice. ?She has decided to run. ?I think of her as a kid stuck between arguing divorced parents. ?The cops are one parent and her dealer (and the life) is the other.
Maybe your problem is that you want to describe the drug mule as a nice person and make clear why she is dealing in only?ONE word. Taking? Nir's logline as example:
After her sister is kidnapped by her supplier a(n) X ?drug mule must undergo one last run in order to save her sister from a forced heroin overdose.
How do you describe that a drug mule is?LIKABLE in on word without getting into a contradiction. or tell us she got?impoverished because of dealing? Tough.
