In the near future a young woman works for a national committee forcing couples to take radical parental exams. After seeing their sinister nature she teams up with rebels and sabotage the committee for good.
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I like it. I’m tempted to play with it, but off hand, can’t think of what to change.
A young woman working for a federal department that requires reproductive couples to take parental exams discovers the covert nature behind the facade, and takes counter measures.
Nah, yours is better.
Great logline and a great concept.
The success will depend on what the ‘sinister nature’ is. If a specific major event pushes her over the edge to take action, perhaps include this in the logline.
Another aspect I always like to see is the character jouney. What does our hero learn? Perhaps she believed in the regulation of private life at the beginning and no longer at the end. Then what made her join the committee? Did anything in particular happen in her past that made her believe in the ‘radical parental exams’?
Some things to consider…
Great concept and I love dystopian themes.
Just one thing though – I’m not sure about “radical parental EXAMS”. Is this a society that decides who becomes parents or not, or dicates HOW people parent? I think that is what should perhaps be clearer in the logline.