Due to a train crash, Alice and Phil meet and fall in love; Benjamin discourages, Zelda encourages: three people challenge each other resulting in new lives for all of them with the help of the fourth.

Is Alice your protagonist? (The film is titled after her). If so, focus the logline on her, even if the intent is for an ensemble piece.

Your event is a train crash. I can visualize that.

I have no idea what I’m likely to watch as Alice and Phil meet and fall in love. I presume this is the crux of the story, but how is it handled? What is Alice’s goal – is she pursuing Phil or trying to avoid him? What does she DO in the film … and who is trying to stop her?

I don’t know what I’m looking at with Benjamin and Zelda’s characters either. What does a character encouraging and another discouraging LOOK like? And is this a conflict that can sustain an entire feature?

The second part of the logline “three people challenge each other …” is really just marketing fluff – it doesn’t tell us a thing about what happens. They challenge each other? Like every character ever written challenges another character somehow? And then in the end they have new lives? What are their old lives? What are their new?

I think, like Richiev has said, you’ve got a grand story you want to tell, but this logline is a long way off, and it doesn’t paint a very clear picture about what the film would be about.