Already a member?
2 reviews
This is a second attempt if I remember correct, the first one was actually more confusing.
Nick is correct. You have given us a tons of information now you have to cut it down and clarify a bit. He gives good advice.
Whoa, way too confusing. I don't understand what is happening here at all. Just keep it simple, don't give me names. Who is your protagonist? A soldier - what sort of soldier? A grizzled veteran? A bright eyed new recruit? Be clear about who they are, and what their PRIMARY, outward goal in the story is.
More in Public
See all →- 1
- 2