Helplessness
JanCabalLogliner
Able to wink only, paralyzed, but slowly recovering man agrees to sexual plays with a jealous nurse, but now he has to fight his helplessness, as he must stop her before she kills him and his family.
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I think the premise has possibilities. But the logline raises as many questions in my mind as it answers. Such as:
Why would the nurse be jealous of a paralyzed man?
How could he communicate to her about sex — let alone engage in it — when he’s 99.9% paralyzed?
And while the hanky-panky may be a part of they story, I’m not sure it’s necessary to include in the logline. A logline should focus on the principal action which is murder, not sex.
There’s information in the logline that distracts from the premise, which, if I’ve read it correctly, is this:
A temporarily paralyzed man on the mend must fight his sense of helplessness to stop his mentally unstable nurse from killing him and his family.
Thank you guys. I got your points. LincWilder you nailed it. I think that I can actually use that