A young Marine on weekend leave is abducted by an unreliable spy who recruits him to extract a suspected defector from an enemy planet before interstellar war breaks out.
Adam Bernstr?mSamurai
A young Marine on weekend leave is abducted by an unreliable spy who recruits him to extract a suspected defector from an enemy planet before interstellar war breaks out.
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Abducted ?(involuntary) or recruited (voluntary) — which is it?
And why of all the young Marines in all the gin joints of the world, is this one chosen? ?What uniquely qualifies him for the mission?
And how will the extraction prevent an interstellar war? ?Or will it? ?Why must the defector be extracted? ?”Before interstellar war” breaks out indicates a ticking clock –and ticking clocks are a useful dramatic device — but it doesn’t explain why the defector must be extracted.
And who is the protagonist, the spy or the Marine?
There is a bit to this, I would drop the ‘weekend leave’ it doesn’t seem to add anything to the logline
and also you should add a better adjective than ‘young’ to describe the marine. Most marines are 30 or younger, don’t need to say young.
You haven’t really told us why they must extract the suspected defector
Is it because after the war breaks out they won’t get another chance? (War is inevitable, this is their only window)
or is it because if they can extract the defector they might be able to stop the war. (If this is the case you should tell us why extracting the defector would stop the war)
Your logline isn’t clear on that.