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JWScarecrow
Posted: October 15, 20142014-10-15T12:03:43+10:00 2014-10-15T12:03:43+10:00In: Public

A wannabe weatherman gets an internship at a small t.v. station in suburban Ohio, but must fight his own tendencies of stability against the abnormal weather patterns that fame the state.

Ohio Weather

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    4 Reviews

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    1. Knightrider1984 Penpusher
      2014-10-15T14:17:40+10:00Added an answer on October 15, 2014 at 2:17 pm

      It might sound odd, but I would have his instability tied to the weather somehow, so in a strange way he is reporting on his on well being without knowing it.

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    2. Knightrider1984 Penpusher
      2014-10-15T14:17:40+10:00Added an answer on October 15, 2014 at 2:17 pm

      It might sound odd, but I would have his instability tied to the weather somehow, so in a strange way he is reporting on his on well being without knowing it.

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    3. Neer Shelter Singularity
      2014-10-18T09:17:09+10:00Added an answer on October 18, 2014 at 9:17 am

      If the inciting incident is getting the job, how does that force him to take action?
      In other words; what change was brought about in his life as a result that, made him want to do something?

      If he is a wannabe weatherman then getting an internship at a TV station is a good thing and part of his normal plan of action. This doesn’t present anything new or different to what he normally would have done.

      Perhaps re design the inciting incident to clash with his major character flaw or his aspirations.

      Secondly the action of fighting his own tendencies doesn’t relate to getting the internship. The action the MC takes and the inciting incident are not in a cause and effect relationship which dilutes the impact of the MCs choices in the story.

      The MC flaw is “…tendencies of stability…” this doesn’t sound like a flaw that would need over coming. Perhaps inflate the tendencies to an OCD level and make it debilitating then it becomes an obstacle for him to overcome.

      Hope this helps.

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    4. Neer Shelter Singularity
      2014-10-18T09:17:09+10:00Added an answer on October 18, 2014 at 9:17 am

      If the inciting incident is getting the job, how does that force him to take action?
      In other words; what change was brought about in his life as a result that, made him want to do something?

      If he is a wannabe weatherman then getting an internship at a TV station is a good thing and part of his normal plan of action. This doesn’t present anything new or different to what he normally would have done.

      Perhaps re design the inciting incident to clash with his major character flaw or his aspirations.

      Secondly the action of fighting his own tendencies doesn’t relate to getting the internship. The action the MC takes and the inciting incident are not in a cause and effect relationship which dilutes the impact of the MCs choices in the story.

      The MC flaw is “…tendencies of stability…” this doesn’t sound like a flaw that would need over coming. Perhaps inflate the tendencies to an OCD level and make it debilitating then it becomes an obstacle for him to overcome.

      Hope this helps.

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