When a depressed hammerhead shark befriends a therapeutic dolphin, his incompetant shrink – a wite shark – wants to violently stop the healing process.

Isn't the' identity crisis' the inciting incident? I can explane in the sory why he has a identity crisis. But maybe having an identity crisis is to complicated a theme for children.

Should I cut the aggressive shrink? Then I don't have an antag anymore?

After an undercover hammerhead shark agent and his white shark crime boss bump their heads against a Japanese wale ship, the hammerhead thinks he's a dolphin and starts giving dolphin therapy to his traumatised boss who - after witnesing the whale slaughter - doesn't want to kill big fish anymore.

There is a genre confusion here.

The logline describes an animated children's comedy similar to Finding Nemo and Madagascar this is because you anthropomorphised the animal characters. However, your explanations hint at it being a more violent affair for adults.

Regardless the story you based this on, best to structure a story that works better for an audience as appose to sticking to "what really happened". In this case I would make this a playful animated comedy for kids all the needed bare story components are there.

As such the logline needs to reflect better what the hammerhead wants and what makes him want it in other words; the inciting incident and goal.

In the second draft of the logline (which you preferred) you specified that he thinks he is a dolphin, what made him suddenly think he is one? Did he bump his head? Suffer amnesia? What ever made him think he was a dolphin is the inciting incident.

The other option is he always thought he was a dolphin this however is a more cryptic approach as there is no definitive point in time this came about and would require much backstory to explain. If this is the case then when he learns he isn't actually a dolphin would be the inciting incident but I fear this will happen too late in the story to work well within act 1.

Either way what is it he wants to achieve? Helping other animals is vague as a goal because it isn't a specific measurable and visual goal perhaps specify one animal he is emotionally attached to and make helping that friend in a specific way his goal.

Hope this helps.

... Yes, you're right "on this forum they told me it's called "burying the lead" but I have no idea how to differently construct the logline and solve this problem. The video is about 'an unrealistic friendship between a "hammerhead shark with an identity crisis and a bunch of dolphins". My first logline represents the stated friendship" and my revised logline represents the ?identity crisis?. I like unrealistic friendships between animals too, but it has been done so until know - I prefer my second attempt at a solid logline, although it's too long and the first one is really short. :)