Sign Up Sign Up

Captcha Click on image to update the captcha.

Have an account? Sign In Now

Sign In Sign In

Forgot Password?

If you'd like access, Sign Up Here

Forgot Password Forgot Password

Lost your password? Please enter your email address. You will receive a link and will create a new password via email.

Captcha Click on image to update the captcha.

Have an account? Sign In Now

Sorry, you do not have permission to ask a question, You must login to ask a question.

Forgot Password?

To see everything, Sign Up Here

Please briefly explain why you feel this question should be reported.

Please briefly explain why you feel this answer should be reported.

Please briefly explain why you feel this user should be reported.

Logline It! Logo Logline It! Logo
Sign InSign Up

Logline It!

Logline It! Navigation

  • Sign Up
  • Logline Generator
  • Learn our simple Logline Formula
  • Search Loglines
Search
Post Your Logline

Mobile menu

Close
Post Your Logline
  • Signup
  • Sign Up
  • Logline Generator
  • Learn our simple Logline Formula
  • Search Loglines
Clint CurePenpusher
Posted: June 19, 20152015-06-19T14:04:56+10:00 2015-06-19T14:04:56+10:00In: Public

When robots run amuck in an historical theme park, a shy Chinese boy must battle robotic Australian icons to save the lives of his classmates.

Park Oz

  • 0
  • 11 11 Reviews
  • 1,240 Views
  • 0 Followers
  • 0
Share
  • Facebook

    Post a review
    Cancel reply

    You must login to add an answer.

    Forgot Password?

    To see everything, Sign Up Here

    11 Reviews

    • Voted
    • Oldest
    • Recent
    1. Lemmy Caution Penpusher
      2015-06-19T14:16:28+10:00Added an answer on June 19, 2015 at 2:16 pm

      Are you hoping for a Chinese release? If so, I wouldn’t make the boy “shy”, rather he should be proficient in martial arts.

      • 0
      • Reply
      • Share
        Share
        • Share on Facebook
        • Share on Twitter
        • Share on LinkedIn
        • Share on WhatsApp
    2. Clint Cure Penpusher
      2015-06-19T14:18:15+10:00Added an answer on June 19, 2015 at 2:18 pm

      If a make him shy than he becomes the ‘worst person for the job’ rather than Bruce Lee.

      • 0
      • Reply
      • Share
        Share
        • Share on Facebook
        • Share on Twitter
        • Share on LinkedIn
        • Share on WhatsApp
    3. Lemmy Caution Penpusher
      2015-06-19T15:48:10+10:00Added an answer on June 19, 2015 at 3:48 pm

      No hope of a Chinese release then.

      • 0
      • Reply
      • Share
        Share
        • Share on Facebook
        • Share on Twitter
        • Share on LinkedIn
        • Share on WhatsApp
    4. Clint Cure Penpusher
      2015-06-19T17:13:35+10:00Added an answer on June 19, 2015 at 5:13 pm

      I’m not sure how you are arriving at that conclusion from what I have written. Do you think the only way to sell movies to China is to include martial arts? Have you seen Bait? Why would I even try to compete with Hong Kong action movies? They spend a lifetime training for those things?

      • 0
      • Reply
      • Share
        Share
        • Share on Facebook
        • Share on Twitter
        • Share on LinkedIn
        • Share on WhatsApp
    5. FFF Mentor
      2015-06-19T18:17:48+10:00Added an answer on June 19, 2015 at 6:17 pm

      Hello,
      your loglines are not bad,
      in my opinion they share the same problem:
      all the elements should be linked by some organic links.
      For exemple, why the boy should be chinese? why not french? or italian? this detail is not linked to the rest of the story. For exemple, if it’s about a theme park about japanese mangas, the main character could be a fanboy who is now forced to fight his beloved characers. Or, in an ‘american historical fathers’ theme park’ a history professor could be the main character, forced to kill robot lincoln etc… The opposite logic could work too: an arachnophobe must fight giant robot spiders to overcome his deepest fear.

      What interests you in your story? The chinese boy? So think about a theme park who fits your character in some way. The australian historical park? So find the most compelling character to face the australian Icons (I have no idea what australian Icons could be, this could be a problem for the understanding of the logline).

      The other loglines you have pubished share the same problems. They’re ok for a low-than-the-average b-movie. Ther could be some genius in the movie -if it will ever be produced. This kind of average plot could be produced if It comes from an established production company, but if you’re writing on spec, than you should try to do your best to make each logline you write absolutely the best. I must say “wow” when I read it, not just “not bad”. Anyway, “not bad” is a very very good starting.

      • 0
      • Reply
      • Share
        Share
        • Share on Facebook
        • Share on Twitter
        • Share on LinkedIn
        • Share on WhatsApp
    6. 2015-06-19T19:34:12+10:00Added an answer on June 19, 2015 at 7:34 pm

      The Australian icons who jumped into my little brain when I read this logline were Kylie and the disgraced Rolf Harris. Interesting! A movie about a kid being chased around by a lecherous Rolf Harris could be fun. Not sure anyone would produce it, though.

      • 0
      • Reply
      • Share
        Share
        • Share on Facebook
        • Share on Twitter
        • Share on LinkedIn
        • Share on WhatsApp
    7. Lemmy Caution Penpusher
      2015-06-19T20:02:47+10:00Added an answer on June 19, 2015 at 8:02 pm

      I speak as someone who has worked in Chinese cinema – shy boys don’t sell. My point was: why a Chinese boy in the first place? (See FFF’s comments below). It seems like racial stereotyping – I’d drop it and think of another adjective.

      • 0
      • Reply
      • Share
        Share
        • Share on Facebook
        • Share on Twitter
        • Share on LinkedIn
        • Share on WhatsApp
    8. Clint Cure Penpusher
      2015-06-19T23:17:37+10:00Added an answer on June 19, 2015 at 11:17 pm

      That’s pretty funny but yeah no one would let you make that movie. I was thinking of a bunch of 1850s miners and a robot Ned Kelly. I want the main dude to be Asian to flip that old image around of Australia being threatened by Asians in a lot of old cartoons. His classmates would be mostly Asian as well.

      • 0
      • Reply
      • Share
        Share
        • Share on Facebook
        • Share on Twitter
        • Share on LinkedIn
        • Share on WhatsApp
    9. Clint Cure Penpusher
      2015-06-19T23:19:22+10:00Added an answer on June 19, 2015 at 11:19 pm

      FFF. You have nailed it. That is what I am trying to write.

      • 0
      • Reply
      • Share
        Share
        • Share on Facebook
        • Share on Twitter
        • Share on LinkedIn
        • Share on WhatsApp
    10. dpg Singularity
      2015-06-20T00:17:53+10:00Added an answer on June 20, 2015 at 12:17 am

      As well as make the film more marketable in the very lucrative Chinese market.

      • 0
      • Reply
      • Share
        Share
        • Share on Facebook
        • Share on Twitter
        • Share on LinkedIn
        • Share on WhatsApp
    11. 2015-06-20T05:14:27+10:00Added an answer on June 20, 2015 at 5:14 am

      Ned Kelly, of course! Silly me. I like that the kids are Chinese Australians. But, yeah, as FFF says, maybe try to add something to your logline that makes their being Chinese Australian necessary.

      • 0
      • Reply
      • Share
        Share
        • Share on Facebook
        • Share on Twitter
        • Share on LinkedIn
        • Share on WhatsApp

    Sidebar

    Stats

    • Loglines 7,997
    • Reviews 32,189
    • Best Reviews 629
    • Users 3,710

    screenwriting courses

    Adv 120x600

    aalan

    Explore

    • Signup

    Footer

    © 2022 Karel Segers. All Rights Reserved
    With Love from Immersion Screenwriting.