A starving gnome terrorizes a Japanese teenager and a bus load of Japanese tourists for their trunk of delicious sushi after their tour bus breaks down in the Canadian wilderness.

You can describe your main character with one adjective.

Hi Ana,

Well done for presenting your story idea in a workable logline!

I agree with Clint. Keep it in the sequential order of the story. This makes it so much easier to read.

Am I right in assuming this is a short film? It sounds like a fun idea, but not something you can extend into a feature concept easily...

And what is the genre? Horror? Comedy? Both?

Always ask "What would the audience do?" If I'm confronted with a starving/annoying/dangerous/killing gnome who's after my sushi... I think I'd hand it over.

You can also give the teenager a little more depth. What makes him/her special? Why should this story happen to him/her? You can do this by just adding one or two adjectives: gullible, obese, orphaned, ...

BTW - I find this logline more compelling than the one you submitted to the LVSC!

I hope all this helps.

Sorry 'When a starving gnome steals...'