A young girl, orphaned by cholera struggles, to stay out of the hands of the man who abused her. She dons boy’s clothes to flee West in search of a new family.

by patrica_anne · Penpusher · 20 pts March 18, 2019 315 views

6 reviews

kpetrakis01 · Mentor · 705 pts May 12, 2019

Yes- historical time and place but help greatly and may explain why she dons boys clothes? - to be a sailor? a soldier? apprenticeship?

How young is the girl? How does being female become an obstacle?

Who is the abuser - family? priest? cop? Why would he look for her? To sell her? To keep her?

Former member · 114,968 pts March 19, 2019

The others make good points.? I sense a compelling story of a young girl who must undergo a harrowing journey to escape a dangerous situation and find? sanctuary and a new life elsewhere.? ?But before making suggestions on how to polish and focus the logline I would like to know more information. Like: How old is she?? What is the time setting for the story?? Where specifically is she fleeing from?? Does she start out with a specific destination in mind?

dogger · Oracle · 88,020 pts March 19, 2019

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6 reviews

More in Historical

When the sole survivor of a destroyed lifeboat is pulled aboard a sinking luxury liner, he is plunged into further chaos as the crew begins to abandon the doomed passengers of the SS Arctic.

When she loses her mercantile’s postal permit to a jealous neighbor, a young woman must find another way to keep the store open during the Depression.

A 20-year-old woman feels trapped in her small mountain town and hopes to move to a city where she can become a professional store manager; but then her father dies, leaving her a debt-ridden mercantile that her neighbors need to survive the Great Depression.

When A financially and morally bankrupt government lawyer is assigned the case of a revolutionary who is keen to be hanged, he must fight against the british monarchy to defend him or lose his practise.

– Darwin 1942. When a recalcitrant minister is accused of spying for the Japanese, he must put aside his conflict with authority and fight to clear his name and uncover the real spy, as bombs rain down on the city.