dogger

Singularity · 87,055 points

105 loglines
5,391 reviews

1

In the depths of the depression, a small time con artist teams up with a seasoned pro to con $500,000 from a ruthless mobster to avenge the mobster’s murder of his mentor.

June 28, 2020
2

Hounded by debt collectors, a brassy small-time hustler solves her money woes by becoming a debt collector herself.

April 21, 2020
A neurotic actor, struggling to perform in a Chekhov play, has his soul temporarily extracted and rents a Russian one. Success– rave reviews! Now he must find and reclaim his soul which has been stolen and implanted in someone else.

April 4, 2020
1

Forced out of a cloistered life after his employer dies, an illiterate simpleton gardener becomes a media celebrity and Washington influencer after a dying billionaire mistakes his gardening advice as metaphorical words of economic wisdom.

March 24, 2020
A psychiatrist must confront doubts about his profession and himself while reluctantly treating a 17 year old boy who blinded 6 horses.

March 19, 2020
In a future where winners are conceived using genetic engineering, a born loser buys the identity of a winner on the black market so he can fulfill his lifelong dream of space travel.

March 14, 2020
1

A jealous mediocre court composer blocks the career and plots the death of Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart.

March 9, 2020
When King George III descends into madness, court physicians attempt to cure him with torturous remedies while his dissolute son conspires to usurp the throne.

March 8, 2020
2

After a plane crash strands him on a remote island, a hard-driving Fedex executive, who never had time for a personal life, now has all the time in the world to merely survive.

March 6, 2020
1

A total loser works for a ruthless Vegas casino boss to jinx gamblers. But after he falls in love with a cocktail waitress, gamblers become winners instead. Now he must save his Lady Luck from the boss’s murderous wrath.

March 2, 2020

on After witnessing a deadly incident engineered by a powerful marshal, Raymond—an ex‑soldier—goes on the run to clear his name and expose the conspiracy, using his combat skills to fight back before the plot destabilizes the Expo-Event ★ Accepted

So... what's the plot? That he's a threat is a static statement. Loglines should be *dynamic* statements. PROtagonists need to be PROactive. I pose a threat to a dandelion I see in my yard. What's my course of action? What…
on A river‑rescued girl with a forbidden Killerborn power must unite the fractured clans and kill a warlord corrupted by stolen magic before his rising reign destroys their world.

"Killerborn"--I had to google the term. Still not sure what it means as a defining characteristic of your protagonist. OK, so stipulated that I'm clueless, out of touch with the vibe, current pop culture. But... are you certain that anyone…
on A socially deprived, true crime obsessed man becomes infatuated with a Jane Doe case, and documents his pathetic attempt at inserting himself in her story by solving the case. ★ Accepted

Would you please clarify "socially deprived". Is he a socially awkward introvert/recluse? Or is he deprived because he lives in an isolated location. Or,,,? And does he do more than just film his personal investigation? Does he post it online,…
on Revised: Desperate to prove himself worthy of his civil rights activist wife, whom he crippled in an accident, George obsesses about the JFK promise, turning into a delusional quest to prevent assassination.

My SOP is not to read plot summaries accompanying a logline. Why? Because the logline has to stand on its own. It must clearly and succinctly state who the protagonist is, the objective goal, the antagonist (or obstacle) and what's…
on To settle a blood-debt for their fallen friend, three former Marines are pulled into the operation of a corrupt Chicago detective—only to discover they are pawns in a clandestine Star Chamber’s purge, forcing a violent reckoning with the past that created them.

>>> forcing a violent reckoning with the past that created them. What does that entail? That is, when they discover they are pawns in someone else's game, what exactly do they do about? What becomes *their* game plan? What becomes…
on After an accident cripples the woman he loves, a guilt-ridden young man takes on America’s scars as his own, risking everything to change the course of history and earn the love she freely gives.

>>>risking everything to change the course of history What does "change the course" of history *look* like on a movie screen? IOW: what is the specific, concrete, objective goal he wants to accomplish?
on Convinced that he murdered a priest he caught abusing a child, Henry fractured into two warring personalities, until the insights of his illness help him bring down a dangerous child-trafficking network.

The unique selling point in this logline is that the protagonist has dual and dueling personalities. But it's not clear to me how the duel complicates the effort to achieve the objective goal. Is one personality opposing and subverting the…
on 1880s London: As an American assassin struggles with her dead father’s vengeful spirit, a mysterious cult attempts to brainwash her into killing Queen Victoria.

In 1880's London, a mentally tormented American woman, brainwashed by a mysterious cult, plots to kill Queen Victoria. (18 words) The cult has to succeed in brainwashing her. At least temporarily to motivate the plot. I don't understand why this…
on Logline: After killing each other in a muddy ravine on Guadalcanal, a Japanese soldier and an American Marine awaken as unwillingly tethered ghosts and spend decades protecting the grandson born from their families’ impossible union—bickering across wars, cultures, and generations as they search for redemption and peace. Genre: Primary: Historical Fantasy Drama Secondary: War Drama / Supernatural Family Saga

As Karel said, particularly about the lack of concrete stakes. Intriguing premise, but the logline juggles too many balls and at 43 words is too long. Try pruning it down to the essential elements.
on A honeymoon meant to celebrate love turns into a nightmare when two newly married couples get lost in the remote wilds of Jamaica—only to discover that the deeper they go, the more they are hunted by a deadly force lurking within the dangerous terrain.

A pair of newlyweds get lost in the wilds of Jamaica and are preyed upon by a mysterious force. (18 words). That's the plot distilled to its essential ingredients.

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Penpusher
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Singularity