Alan H. Jordan

Penpusher · 215 points

85 points to Logliner

4 loglines
17 reviews

When a bioengineer recognizes technology that’s being used to overthrow governments, he must defeat powerful politicians to save his life, his family, and democracies worldwide.

July 21, 2022
BRIGHT ORANGE BALL – POV Ball. After one of the best soccer players in the world passes over his first soccer ball must convince the legend’s grandson to take up soccer.

July 5, 2022
After his father’s passing, a boy must find a way to bring the sparkle back into his life.

June 28, 2022
A boy must save the magic in an alternate universe or have his own universe destroyed.

June 17, 2022

on When a bioengineer recognizes technology that’s being used to overthrow governments, he must defeat powerful politicians to save his life, his family, and democracies worldwide.

Alternative: When a retired bio-engineer programmer realizes exactly how technology Is being used on senior elected officials to overthrow the U.S. government, he must risk his, and his family’s, life to preserve democracy. And, possibly, the world.
on BRIGHT ORANGE BALL – POV Ball. After one of the best soccer players in the world passes over his first soccer ball must convince the legend’s grandson to take up soccer.

Hey Odie, Thanks for your thoughts. I appreciate them, and I am having a hard time deciding whether I want to do this story from the POV of the ball or the boy. I did look at The Brave Little…
on Homewardsbounsville Chronicles: (Sci-Fi/Sitcom): A con man created as a scientific experiment must return to futuristic School for the Strange, that created him before he destroys modern day St Louis, and in turn himself.

My pleasure.
on After his father’s passing, a boy must find a way to bring the sparkle back into his life.

Since the bright orange ball is a character, I wonder if this approach makes sense: After one of the best soccer players in the world passes over a mystical bright-orange soccer ball must convince the player's grandson to take up…
on A doubtful artist and a stagnant fashion designer confront their own shortcomings when that spark an unlikely friendship

There doesn't seem to be much much conflict here. Two insecure people met and strike up a friendship.So what? What are they seeking? What do they have to lose? If I know these things, maybe I'll care.
on Homewardsbounsville Chronicles: (Sci-Fi/Sitcom): A con man created as a scientific experiment must return to futuristic School for the Strange, that created him before he destroys modern day St Louis, and in turn himself.

I am wondering, "What does he have to lose if St. Louis is destroyed?"
on A blind boy who helps police identify and apprehend a possessed serial killer must now prove that he witnessed the crimes and convince the police that a demonic entity is the real culprit behind the recent homicides.

How about: A reserved blind boy helps police identify and apprehend a serial killer and must now prove that he witnessed the crimes. Complications arise when he insists a demonic entity possessed the killer.
on After his father’s passing, a boy must find a way to bring the sparkle back into his life.

Hi NisVinten. Thanks for taking the time to respond. Here are the answers to your questions: 1. Why is it important to Liam to play soccer? Liam discovers that playing soccer brings keeps him occupied, brings him joy and it…
on When her family unexpectedly comes back into her life after years of estrangement, a young woman must confront her past and the people who will never accept her for who she is.

I don't know if you need this, "after years of estrangement, "
on When her family unexpectedly comes back into her life after years of estrangement, a young woman must confront her past and the people who will never accept her for who she is.

Perhaps you'll like this. It gives me an idea that she's old enough to have life experience and (for me) adds an element of suspense. A twenty-something must confront her past and the people who will never accept her for…