Andres_

Penpusher · 180 points

120 points to Logliner

3 loglines
12 reviews

1

After his workaholic mom is send to work at their native island, Alex (11) will live his first summer at the gransparents village.

April 5, 2022
A rural grandfather with a distant relationship with his urbanite daughter will try to convince her that his granddaughter study the next year in the village school and so the school will not close

April 17, 2021
1

A cold-hearted journalist records a documentary about a very talented e-sport player until she discovers the hardness of being born unlucky.

September 23, 2020

on A priest kidnaps an atheist writer and tortures him until he believes in God or one of them dies in the process.

As per the theory the main character is the one that changes the most during the story, it depends on the theme and the point of view you want to include in the script but it may seem that the…
on After his workaholic mom is send to work at their native island, Alex (11) will live his first summer at the gransparents village.

You are rigth is very confusing as I have misplace the pronums, english is not my native tongue and I don't fell confident using google translate to post in the page. The correct logline wil be : After his workaholic…
on In the near future, a young genius escapes a moonbase where a madman secretly enslaves scientists in his plan to wipe out life on Earth but when no one believes him, he alone must find a way to destroy the base and free the other scientists.

The obective to save the humankind is quite challenging, may be too much for a young "nerd" which has been slaved recently. To me it will be easier to connect with the character if he wants to return to save…
on Waiting for the results of a tests, Marc, a boy with cancer, meets Oscar in a hospital. The two young men end up having an exciting relationship, deciding to take a trip around the world. But not everything is what it seems, there is always something left of the cancer on Marc and secrets they try hide, which will soon come to light.

Quite long for a logline which should resemble more a cacht phrase and also the sctructure of the logline make it a bit confusing. Which kind of movie it is? you said romance but then you add the trip around…
on A former trouble maker, and a troubled group of his childhood friends gather for an extravagant treasure hunt and to solve years old issues. The best friend of a girl he bullied, tries her best to stop him.

Small question from my side, if at the beggining of the movie he is allready a former trouble maker what is the character learning in the movie? It will be better to point out the characteristic of the protagonist that…
on A priest kidnaps an atheist writer and tortures him until he believes in God or one of them dies in the process.

After reading the other side of the story, the search by the writter relatives to me the moive is there and not in the priest vs writter confict. Something like: A detective must contact his ex-lover relatives to find him…
on A rural grandfather with a distant relationship with his urbanite daughter will try to convince her that his granddaughter study the next year in the village school and so the school will not close

Thanks so much for your comments! Expresions like"ill-parented" or "workaholic" are the ones I always miss when translating a logline. As you said the stake are not too high in the logline, for me the closure of the school will…
on A cold-hearted journalist records a documentary about a very talented e-sport player until she discovers the hardness of being born unlucky.

I understand the lack of action and the missing event. Actually I think I tried to sum up in excess and the point was missed. The point you make about not knowing what an e-sport player is does not really…
on A cold-hearted journalist records a documentary about a very talented e-sport player until she discovers the hardness of being born unlucky.

I understand the lack of action, actually I think I tried to sum up in excess and the point was missed. A reviewed logline will be: "A cold-hearted journalist records a documentary about a very talented esports player until she…
on When a young woman takes up a run-away eleven-year old under her wing, she must go to extremes that risk her chance at the medical career of her dreams to help the child through the consequences of the gory past she fled.

I'm losing the motivation on the main character. I mean why does she risk his medical carrer for the infant. Did she happen to go for the same that make the infant run at that age? Did she lost a…