AspiringZach

Penpusher · 140 points

160 points to Logliner

7 loglines
10 reviews

When a man travels half a state away to break his brother out of prison, his wife starts to question their relationship.

August 30, 2013
A selfless man attempts to break his brother out of prison when his relationship with his wife goes sour.

August 27, 2013
A selfless man journeys through love and loss when he attempts to break his brother out of prison.

August 26, 2013
A neurotic writer attempts to break his noncompliant criminal brother out of jail while still trying to preserve a relationship with his bipolar wife.

August 25, 2013
A neurotic writer attempts to break his noncompliant brother out of jail while still trying to preserve a relationship with his psychotic wife.

January 20, 2013
When a neurotic writer struggles to fix two failing relations, one with his psychotic wife, and the other with his difficult criminal brother, he must do everything in his power to save both relationships, even if it includes breaking his brother out of prison.

December 11, 2012
A neurotic writer struggles to deal with two failing relationships between his difficult criminal brother, who he breaks out of prison, and his psychotic wife.

December 10, 2012

on When a man travels half a state away to break his brother out of prison, his wife starts to question their relationship.

Alright, thanks man. I will get to work on the new logline! Hopefully I'll be able to add all your points and make it compelling.
on When a man travels half a state away to break his brother out of prison, his wife starts to question their relationship.

No he does not miss any family function. His wife obviously doesn't want him to leave her behind and break his brother out of jail. She doesn't want this because she believes if he leaves her that he thinks his…
on A selfless man attempts to break his brother out of prison when his relationship with his wife goes sour.

Probably the last one I post for a while. For all who have helped me on the last few loglines, thank you!
on A selfless man journeys through love and loss when he attempts to break his brother out of prison.

I posted a different version earlier. I rewrote a lot of the script yesterday, and felt this logline was more fitting.
on A neurotic writer attempts to break his noncompliant brother out of jail while still trying to preserve a relationship with his psychotic wife.

How don't you understand what the story is? It's really just about him breaking his brother out of jail while still trying to stay with his wife ( the writer is married to the psychotic, which I changed to bipolar.…
on When a neurotic writer struggles to fix two failing relations, one with his psychotic wife, and the other with his difficult criminal brother, he must do everything in his power to save both relationships, even if it includes breaking his brother out of prison.

When a neurotic writer struggles to fix two failing relationships, one with his psychotic wife, and the other with his difficult criminal brother, he must do everything in his power to save both relationships, even if it includes breaking his…
on A neurotic writer struggles to deal with two failing relationships between his difficult criminal brother, who he breaks out of prison, and his psychotic wife.

I think the first one is leading me on the right track. Thanks for your help!
on A neurotic writer struggles to deal with two failing relationships between his difficult criminal brother, who he breaks out of prison, and his psychotic wife.

Breaking him out of prison is a small job. The story is more about the relationships between each character... He still loves his wife regardless of how psychotic she is, he wants to stay with her. And when he goes…
on A neurotic writer struggles to deal with two failing relationships between his difficult criminal brother, who he breaks out of prison, and his psychotic wife.

A neurotic writer struggles to fix two failing relationships between his difficult criminal brother, who he breaks out of prison, and his psychotic wife. Is that better?
on A neurotic writer struggles to deal with two failing relationships between his difficult criminal brother, who he breaks out of prison, and his psychotic wife.

He wants to fix the relationship with his wife and at the same time break his brother out of prison. How do you think I could add his goal in there?